Powerless (Or Not)
by anonymousfriend27
Summary: Alya had always dreamed of knowing Ladybug's identity, just so she could thank her for all she had done, but now Alya knew almost too much. One thing lead to the other, and soon, Alya was one of the most dangerous, powerful and vulnerable people in all of Paris. Can she keep her friends' secrets safe, while keeping herself from harm too?
1. Chapter 1

**The other day I had a thought, and the thought was this; Alya is really cool. And imagine how amazing it would be if she was the first to know Ladybug's identity. So, I wrote a fanfic about it. **

—

Alya glared at her computer screen. She _really_ wanted to look away, but she just… _couldn't_. It should be _her_ out there, chasing after the akuma, not that stupid news reporter. She always got there first, _always_ got the best shot, but not this time.

This time she was grounded.

She pulled up the Ladyblog to post an apology for her absence, but was distracted by the battle on her screen. Annoyingly, it was closer to her house than any of her friends' houses, so she couldn't even ask one of them to film it for her, but it wasn't quite close enough for her to see from the window. Every now and then, there was a puff smoke in the distance, but that was it.

She couldn't really blame her parents, after her last stunt almost put her in hospital. At least it had been good footage… But that didn't exactly make up for the battle she was missing. Both of Paris' superheroes looked exhausted, although Chat Noir had a determined glint in his eye, still avoiding each attack with practised ease. Ladybug, however, was flagging.

The akuma shot a beam of light towards her, her back turned away from it. Chat Noir dived for her, knocking her to the ground, dazed. A quiet conversation passed between them, Chat Noir pulled her into his chest quickly. Alya gasped at the scene. Ladybug never let Chat Noir show affection, especially in public. She always brushed off his flirting, or ignored him completely- so what was happening that she was letting her partner act like that?

The akuma flung something past their heads, barely missing them. Chat Noir helped Ladybug up, both of them leaning heavily on the other. Alya could no longer see any enthusiasm in Chat Noir; he looked afraid, and Alya was reminded that they mustn't have been any older than her. As Rena Rouge, she'd never felt afraid of fighting against akumas, but as Alya… She was confident, but no one was _that_ brave. A chunk of building went hurling for them, the heroes' eyes widening as it neared. This time, Ladybug was the one to throw Chat Noir out the way, shoving him to the ground.

Alya froze, watching dust fill the camera, the cameraman falling over, blind. She ignored the confused stream of questions coming from him, searching desperately for any movement. She wasn't sure that Ladybug had moved out of the way. Had she been hit? The rubble settled a little, silence filling the space. The cameraman coughed roughly, breathing heavily. Alya was suddenly very glad she wasn't there. A panicked cry split the air, a black blur scrambling from the wreckage. Alya saw that the akuma had disappeared, a confused women standing in its place. She hadn't seen them destroy the akumatised object- did Hawkmoth recall it or had she missed it?

Alya wished she could do something to help, wished she could call for Trixx and go and see for herself. She wished she held the fox miraculous permanently so that she could always be there for her masked friends. But there was nothing she could do, but wait.

She slumped in her seat, sighing with relief, when a familiar red-clad figure emerged, being held up by Chat Noir, who watched her closely. Anyone could see how much he loved her, how much he cared. She stumbled out of his arms, Alya releasing a shaky breath as Ladybug's magic rushed around Paris. It did nothing to fix the superhero's obvious fatigue, nor Alya's growing concern. Chat Noir said something to her, but she pushed him away with a dismissive wave and a smile, before jumping away.

xXx

Alya had been staring out the window for a while, when there was a loud thump on the roof, startling her away from her thoughts. The light was dimming, the sky dark and still. Alya opened the window, leaning out backwards so she could peer up at the roof. "Move, Alya," A soft voice called down to her, "Quickly." She could hear the desperation in the quiet order, and Alya did as she was told, stepping aside. Ladybug dropped into the windowsill, looking ready to collapse.

Alya was shocked- it had been hours since the akuma attack. Where had Ladybug been that whole time? It didn't look like she'd detransformed, or if she had, it hadn't been for long. She barely recognised her as the strong, confident superhero she had come to know; this girl was just that- a girl. A tired, defeated girl who… came to her house?

"Alya, I need you." Ladybug told her.

"But there's no akuma, why do-" Alya began, confused, before Ladybug interrupted her, resting against the wall.

"I don't need Rena Rouge. I need you."

"Me? But-" Alya's words where lost in the pink glow that filled the room, her vision going dark for a second. She blinked it away, barely having time to catch the girl as she crumpled to the floor. "Marinette?" She asked incredulously, heaving her friend onto the bed, "You're Ladybug?" Marinette nodded slightly, head drooping with sleep, "Sorry I didn't tell you." She yawned, eyes struggling to stay open. Marinette was _Ladybug_. Her _best_ friend. Why wasn't she surprised? She _should_ have been surprised by that, shouldn't she?

Alya gazed down at her, watching as she curled up into a ball, giving in to her tiredness. All Alya's shock, or lack of it, melted away in seconds, seeing her friend- beloved _superhero_ of Paris- lying on her bed. She thought about Marinette, going into danger, facing akuma after akuma after akuma. She thought about today; what if Ladybug had never gotten out from under that rubble? What if she had died? Alya couldn't stand the thought of losing Ladybug _and_ Marinette- what would she have done if her best friend was suddenly just _gone_?

So, she couldn't help but smile, as she sat beside Marinette, patting her on the head. "Okay, girl," Alya told her, pulling a blanket over her, "We'll talk soon."

Alya remembered how helpless she had felt earlier, without the power of her miraculous, but maybe- just maybe- this was better. Because even though Alya was hurt that she didn't tell her, Marinette had chosen to come to her when she needed it. If she'd never been Rena Rouge, she wouldn't have understood that Marinette was trying to keep her safe when she kept this secret from her, just as she kept _hers_ from Marinette.

Her breath caught in her throat, heart beating wildly. Marinette trusted _her_ with a miraculous. She could have chosen anyone, but the fox miraculous was given to her… Of the thousands of people in Paris; her. Alya had this whole other side to her, this superhero side, because of Marinette. The choked breath she'd been holding back came spilling out, Marinette stirring. She sat up slowly, and Alya fought her tears.

But Marinette chose her. And now she was looking up at Alya like she'd never made a better decision.

"Alya?" She asked, half asleep, "What's wrong?"

"It's all okay, Mari." Alya reassured her, making her lie back down, "These are happy tears." Marinette smiled, pulling the blanket around her shoulders, "Okay, Alya, I like happy tears." Alya chuckled, suspecting that Marinette's exhaustion was making her delusional. She'd have to find out why she was so tired later.

Alya settled next to her friend, mind still reeling from all the revelations. Marinette reached towards her, finding her hand, squeezing. "Alya?" Marinette asked, "Could you go tell Mon Chaton I'm okay? I'm sure he's worrying. He'll be near the Eiffel Tower." Alya nodded, even though Marinette was already unconscious again, and laughed at her nickname for him._ Her kitten- is that so? _

Alyasmiled, amused. There was going to be a whole new level of teasing when she woke up; Adrien _and_ Chat Noir. Although, there was still the chance that they were really the same person beneath the mask. It wasn't exactly a big leap between appearances, but their personalities were a little hard to match. _Oh well_, Alya thought, preparing to sneak out of the window, _maybe I'll find out._

—

**I have the next chapter planned out, and ready to be written, but if anyone has any ideas, leave a review or PM me and we'll see what I can do! Nothing's set in stone yet, so if there's something you really want to see, share it with me. Thanks for reading!**


	2. Chapter 2

Alya shrugged a jacket on, knowing it would be cold outside, and slid out the window. She climbed down to the ledge over the top of a window the next floor down, deciding from there, it wasn't too high to jump off. "Alya, wait!" Someone called, making Alya look back up to he window. Floating above her was the ladybug kwami, looking down at her with concern. Alya had been so preoccupied with Marinette, she'd completely forgotten that Ladybug's kwami must've been exhausted too.

"Hi! Marinette asked me to meet with Chat Noir, but I had to sneak out. Sorry if I woke you- what's your name?" The kwami nodded in understanding, the worry erased from her expression by a bright smile, "I'm Tikki," she told Alya, "Thank you for helping Marinette."

Alya chuckled, "As if I could do anything else. She detransformed in my room!"

Tikki frowned, "I couldn't hold the transformation any longer, and I could sense that Marinette wanted you to know." Tikki paused, closing her eyes thoughtfully, "She wouldn't have made it anywhere else."

Alya tried to smile reassuringly, but she couldn't quite manage it. Something about Tikki's anxiety was rubbing off on her, returning Alya's thoughts to the whirl they'd been in earlier. "I don't suppose you have any cookies?" Tikki asked. Alya nodded, distracted. She was going to meet with Chat Noir… and say what? _Ladybug's fine, and also she's my best friend? She sent me here because she has an unfaltering trust in me? Well, that's a daunting thought… _"In the kitchen." She added, trying to ignore her doubts.

"Thanks!" Tikki said happily, disappearing into her room. Alya dropped onto the pavement, wishing she had her superhero suit to protect her from the chill.

xXx

Alya could barely see Chat Noir's dark outline against the sky. He perched on a rooftop, humming something sad to himself. He ran a hand through his hair, staring out at the Eiffel Tower, although she could tell he wasn't thinking about it in the slightest. "Chat Noir!" She called, catching his attention. Alya knew if she waited, she might lose her nerve. He glanced down at her, "I don't have time for an interview, Alya." His tone was cold, reminding her of the one Adrien used when he denied his fangirls. She found herself wondering whether maybe they were the same person after all.

"I'm not here for that." She told him, matching his tone, "I came because Ladybug asked me too."

She saw his eyes widen in shock, glowing in the lowlight, before he jumped down to stand beside her. Alya thought he was going to speak, but instead her grabbed her around the waist, and vaulted them both back up to his rooftop. She didn't have to time to scream. "I'm sorry." He said quietly, "I didn't want people to hear."

"It's fine." She said shakily, surprised by the depth of the agitation that clouded his gaze, "She wanted you to know she's okay, just tired." He didn't respond for a moment, walking away from Alya to stand at the edge of the roof. He turned back to her, "Too tired to meet her partner- the one she knows loves her?" _Good God, this boy is the embodiment of angst._

"She detransformed in my room, you stupid cat!" Alya shouted, feeling prickly, as he complained about her best friend, "She couldn't even get home. You don't get to turn this into-"

"Ladybug detransformed in your room?" Chat Noir interrupted, "You know who she is?" Alya watched him hide his hurt behind his curiosity. "Yes." She said, hesitant. The hurt flashed across his expression again, a fresh wound. Alya wondered whether she should have told him that; the look on his face told her she probably shouldn't have.

It made sense for him to be upset. He and Ladybug had been fighting together for years, undefeated and the pride of Paris, and yet, they had no idea of the other's identity. "She told a civilian before she told me?" He asked, voice small and hoarse.

"I'm not a civilian, Chat." She said, hoping that knowing about her superhero identity might ease his pain a little, "I'm Rena Rouge."

He smiled, standing a bit straighter, "At least her identity hasn't gotten outside of the miraculous circle." Alya sighed in relief as her plan succeeded.

Suddenly, Chat Noir's ring gave a warning beep, both him and Alya tensing up at the sound. "I forgot I had-" A green light erupted around him, the black suit being replaced by his civilian clothes. Alya's heart stopped. Was this really happening fo the second time in one night? She didn't think her brain could take anymore. She didn't look up. She didn't want to see.

"I thought I had another minute."

Chat Noir groaned, causing Alya to look up as she recognised his voice, asking herself how she hadn't noticed before. "Adrien. Agreste."

"Yes?" He asked, voice a pitch higher than usual. _He should be scared- I'm going to kill both of them when Marinette wakes up._ Furious, she launched all her anger at him, everything she wanted to say to Marinette spilling out, "This is a double betrayal- you and her! Why didn't you tell me? I practically worshipped you for years." Adrien frowned at his feet, looking ashamed of himself, "Ladybug." He said, as if correcting her, "You worshipped Ladybug. I'm just her sidekick." Alya looked at him blankly, struggling to comprehend what he had said.

"She'd hit you so hard for saying that, sunshine."

Alya thought for a moment, feeling slightly hysterical. Not only was she dealing with her friends' secret identities, but also their insecurities? That was _too_ much. Without much more thought, she shrugged and slapped him face as hard as she could.

Adrien flinched away from her, "What the hell, Alya?" She raised an eyebrow at him, knowing he knew he deserved it. "Chat Noir is Ladybug's _partner_. I won't hear any different." Alya felt a grin split her face, "Oh- this is perfect… My ships! I can get LadyNoir and Adri-" She stopped, keeping herself from finishing, and not saying Marinette's name. "Alya, are you really shipping me with a random person I've never met as a civilian?" Adrien asked disapprovingly.

How could she answer that? She couldn't answer that without revealing that they both knew Ladybug's civilian identity. Alya just shook her head, hoping he didn't notice her indecision. Luckily, he'd never been very perceptive. "You can't tell her about this- my identity, or that you know my identity… or that I know that you know her identity."

"But she's my best friend! You can't-" Alya protested, before Adrien interrupted her.

"Your best friend?" He asked with an almost patronising disappointment, "You can't be best friends with someone you just met."

"I didn't say that we'd just met." She shot back, instantly defending herself. He laughed bitterly, "So you just forgot about Marinette then?"

Alya said nothing, raising an eyebrow at him and staring blankly. "I didn't think you were like that, Alya." Adrien continued, Alya having to try very hard not to punch the righteousness of his smug face, "Because there's no one you know better than Marinette."

"Exactly."

Adrien stopped mid-step, ceasing his annoying pacing as he ranted. "Marinette is-" Alya felt manic laughter building in her chest. Had she _really_ just done that? Just revealed Ladybug's identity against her wishes? Alya was finding it difficult to care in that moment- if they didn't want to have some sort of nervous breakdown, then they shouldn't have dumped it on her all at once. She gave into the madness. "Let me guess, I can't tell Marinette you know?"

Adrien was silent, and Alya decided that meant she was probably right. "Since all the secrets are coming out, what's two more?" She said, feeling oddly joyful. She briefly wondered whether it was because she could stop lying, and wouldn't have to in the future. Adrien opened his mouth to say something but Alya held a finger to his lips to shush him. "Firstly, Nino is Carapace." His eyebrows shot straight up, but- much to Alya's amusement- he remained silent, "And second-" Alya's confidence stalled for a moment, but she pushed through, not considering the consequences, "Marinette has been in love with you for years."

She stood back, watching him stumble over his words, turning away to see if she could get off the building. She noticed a ladder, setting her sights on it. "You- Nino… Marinette?" Alya giggled hysterically, waving, "Bye, sunshine!"


	3. Chapter 3

**So earlier today, my friend Speckleflower and I- forgetting the rule about posting the same thing on two accounts- posted a new pic that we're co-writing, called Whoever You Think I Am, I Am Not, And Never Will Be. I took it down from my account, thanks to tpt player 5701, who warned us before anyone got banned or anything was removed, which I know we both appreciate! I'd hate to lose my account, and it meant a lot that someone took the time to tell us.**

**If you haven't visited tpt player 5701's account, then you should go, right now, and read everything. Other than that, go read Whoever You Think I Am, I Am Not, And Never Will Be, and enjoy this new chapter of Powerless (Or Not). I'll link everything mentioned below ;)**

**Whoever You Think I Am, I Am Not, And Never Will Be: s/13504944/1/Whoever-You-Think-I-Am-I-Am-Not-And-Never-Will-Be**

**tpt player 5701's account (if you read this, thank you again): **** u/1403513/tpt-player-5701**

**Enjoy!**

—

"Alya?"

Alya fought against waking, although she'd heard the voice calling her name. She really didn't want to be awake. She'd been up all night, first with Marinette collapsing in her room, and then talking to Chat Noir- no, _Adrien_.

"Alya!" The voice repeated more urgently. She still didn't want to move, but she knew she was already awake anyway. Maybe if she just stayed still, whoever it was would leave her alone and she could go back to sleep. A firm hand on her shoulder told her otherwise, shaking her until she rolled over with a groan. "What?" She grumbled, squinting at the figure silhouetted in the sunshine coming through her window. Hmm… _sunshine_. That was a good word- it made her think of Adrien.

Alya sat bolt upright, the person in front of her staggering back in surprise.

"What have I done?" She asked herself, the events of the night before rushing back to her. She'd revealed Marinette's secret- a secret she'd kept for _years_, and she'd just thrown all that work away. Guilt sat heavy in her stomach. How was she going to face Marinette now? Alya couldn't even tell her! Adrien had told her not to, and she couldn't break anymore promises. She couldn't put her friends in anymore danger than they were already in, with her knowing about all their identities.

"Alya, what's wrong?" Alya was swept back to reality as she realised who the person who had woken her was. "Marinette…" Alya trailed off, unable to meet her best friend's gaze. Marinette was forgiving, but Alya was certain that this was too much. No one- not even someone as selfless and kind as Marinette- could ever forgive what Alya had done. "You're angry, aren't you?" Marinette asked, her tone pained, forcing Alya to look up at her.

"Angry?" Alya repeated, "Why would I be angry?"

"'I didn't tell you, Alya," Marinette clarified, "And then I turned up here and dropped my identity on you." Alya couldn't help the strangled laugh that escaped her, an eyebrow arched in shock. She'd completely forgotten about being upset that Marinette didn't tell her that she was Ladybug. "I'm not mad," she reached for Marinette, even though shame made her heart beat uncomfortably hard, and pulled her friend into a hug, "I was only upset that you didn't trust me enough to tell me."

"I'm so-" Marinette began, and Alya could tell she was trying not to cry.

"But I understand why you didn't." She interrupted, pushing Marinette away slightly, "And I'm sure you understand why _I_ didn't tell you about being Rena Rouge." Marinette nodded, but didn't look like she was sure. Alya knew that it wasn't the same really, and that was probably what was making her so hesitant to believe her. While Alya had no idea that Marinette was a miraculous holder, Marinette had known Alya was a holder form the start. Alya could never blame her though, after all, she'd been with Chat Noir for as long as Alya had been friends with her, and had never told him.

"Did you talk to Chat Noir last night?" She asked, dragging Alya away form her thoughts. Her eyes softened as she talked about her partner, "I know he was worried about me. He gets upset when I'm hurt, and I hate seeing him that way."

"You love him." Alya blurted out without thinking. _Those_ eyes were usually reserved for when Marinette was concerned for Adrien, the little sparkle for when she talked about him in general. "I don't!" Marinette protested, blushing furiously, "I care about him, but he's just a friend."

Alya wanted to laugh. Or maybe tell her that Adrien and Chat Noir were the same person. Or confess everything she'd said last night. Or run away, become super intelligent, and somehow invent a time machine, so she could go back in time and kill her former self for betraying her friend's trust, the paradox probably erasing her from existence.

That would be nice.

Maybe she could ask Bunnyx to take her back in time. When all the heroes of Paris, except Ladybug and Chat Noir, had had their identities revealed, Bunnyx had come from the future, realising that it was that event that had triggered her future. She wouldn't tell anyone what exactly had happened, but they could all tell it was bad. After several days of going back and forth, Ladybug had managed to fix it, stopping it from ever happening. Or at least that was the story she'd been told. No one but Ladybug remembered anything. Of course, she hadn't fixed everything; some things couldn't be changed. Master Fu still gave up guardianship, Ladybug taking up the mantle.

Dismissing her thoughts, she settled for trying to make Marinette see what was right in front of her- her love for Chat Noir. "Is that denial I hear?" She joked sarcastically. Marinette put her face in her hands, trying to hide her blush. "Alya!" She moaned, voice muffled, "I'm _not_ in love with my partner."

"_Sure_." Alya said, leaning back against her wall casually. Marinette looked up, smiling at her win, but Alya continued with a sly smile, "Just like you're not Ladybug."

"I hate you." Marinette said, deadpan.

Alya squeezed her shoulder, "Love you too, girl." Marinette glared at her, her eyes shining with humour. Alya wasn't done with her teasing, "And yes, I did visit _your_ Chaton last night." Marinette's smile faltered for a second. "Oh God, I called him that last night, didn't I?" Alya grinned wickedly, "I think it's very cute, Marinette." She patted Marinette on the head.

"I'm sure it's just friendly nicknames between partners." Marinette sighed, relieved, and Alya continued, "I mean, it's completely normal. You two _are_ very close."

"Best friends." Marinette stated, relaxing.

"It's nothing to do with your undeniable love for him." She said, hoping he friend would agree.

"Exactly- nothing to do with that." Alya grinned as Marinette's thoughts caught up with her words, "Wait- no! I meant that there is no undeniable love so how could it make me use a nickname because I'm not in love with him and I don't- Alya!"

Alya clutched her sides, unable to stop giggling. Marinette narrowed her eyes at her, looking like a wild animal about to pounce. Alya ignored her, finally composing herself, "He was kind of annoyed that you hadn't come yourself, but I explained why, and he was… okay with it." Alya winced at the lie, but she couldn't exactly tell Marinette what had actually happened, as much as she wanted to. "He was annoyed?" Marinette asked, sounding nervous. Alya grabbed her hand, smile losing any of the mocking it had earlier, "Hey, it wasn't your fault, and I told him that." She remembered the way she'd shouted at him, "Oh, I put him in his place."

"You've never said anything that sounded so sinister before, Alya." Marinette admitted, shivering a little, "You didn't actually kill him or anything, did you?" Alya chuckled, knowing her friend was joking. She'd said _a lot_ worse.

"He would have deserved it- you were exhausted, Marinette!" Marinette's eyes widened in fear slightly, reminding Alya about her questions form last night. "Why _were_ you so tired last night?"

"I don't sleep well." Marinette told her breathlessly, as if telling her was hard, "Since Master Fu made me Guardian, it's been difficult to relax. I have nightmares."

The room lapsed into a solemn silence, Marinette expertly avoiding Alya's eyes. "I didn't want anyone to worry." Marinette said, she smiled, her lips twisting bitterly, "But I guess this is worse. My reluctance to show weakness has caused more pain than the weakness itself." Alya couldn't move. Marinette blamed herself for struggling to fill a role meant for someone much older and experienced than herself? For not asking for help- for being scared to? Alya didn't doubt for a second that her friend was capable of being Guardian, but Master Fu should never have left her with no instructions, no support.

Alya couldn't think of anything else to do but wrap Marinette in her arms and hope she would understand. "You didn't do this." She whispered, "We've all been so caught up in secret identities to realise that we're all still human- we make mistakes, you included, and that's something we're allowed to do."

"When I make mistakes, people die." Marinette told her, "If I'm not perfect then Hawkmoth wins, and I lose everyone. Chat, Nino, anyone I've ever given a miraculous- you too." Alya grabbed her by the shoulders, giving her a gentle shake. Anger bubbled in her chest, "You'll never lose me, Marinette. I'm not going anywhere for a long time."

Marinette flinched at her tone, but Alya didn't know how to stop the rage she felt. As insecure as Marinette was, Alya never thought she'd be able to convince herself that she would leave her if she did something wrong. Alya and Marinette had been friends from the start, and Alya hadn't once thought that her best friend would give up on her if she made a mistake. "Please, Marinette, you have to understand. I _couldn't_ do that. You're more than my best friend! You're my hero too- Ladybug _and_ Marinette. But if you don't think I'd forgive you for your mistakes, then how can I believe you'd forgive me for mine?"

Alya knew that if Marinette couldn't accept she was telling the truth, she wouldn't be able to hold back what she'd done for very long. The only thing keeping her quiet was that she thought it would hurt Adrien and Marinette if she said anything, and she honestly believed that Adrien would tell her when he was ready. She trusted him to do right by his friend and his partner. "I'd never stop being your friend because you did something wrong, Alya!" Marinette exclaimed, looking at her in horror, "How could you think that?"

Alya allowed a smirk to tug at her lips, "How could _you_ think that, Marinette?"

"I- I don't think I can- I don't-" Marinette stuttered, her speechlessness easily matching Marinette when she tried to talk to Adrien. She paused, taking a deep breath, and Alya knew Marinette believed her, "Thank you, Alya.

—

**Chapter 3 is over, chapter 4 coming soon. Very soon. I'm in a good mood, and if I get to write tonight, there'll be lots more coming! Go check out Whoever You Think I Am, I Am Not, And Never Will Be on Speckleflower's account- links at the top!**

**Enjoy the rest of your day!**


	4. Chapter 4

**This chapter was going to be longer, but I wanted to leave the next bit to its own chapter or this one would have turned out super long. I was going to post this yesterday, but I decided writing while I have a fever probably wasn't going to turn out well… I was right about that- I'm not sure anything remains from the original version of this that I tore apart this morning.**

—

Rena Rouge gazed out over Paris, letting the cool air calm her. She knew she'd have to return her miraculous to Marinette soon, but she was going to enjoy the freedom of her powers while it lasted. At least knowing Ladybug's identity meant that returning her miraculous wasn't going to be too challenging this time around, and Marinette had told her that she could hold onto it until Monday morning. Tomorrow. It wasn't really long enough; the companionship of Trixx, as well as being able to transform was something she always missed, sometimes going months before they needed her help again.

Her fox ears twisted back, responding to the sound of soft footfalls behind her. Whether it was her enhanced hearing or just instinctual, somehow she knew it was Chat Noir. "Hey, sunshine," she said quietly as he came to stand beside her, "What's up?" Chat Noir didn't answer, looking tense and unsure. She put a hand on his shoulder, hesitating. As much as she didn't want to see him upset, did she really want more responsibility on her shoulders? She'd know from just weeks into their friendships that Adrien and Marinette came with baggage, but did she realise they were superheroes?

It wasn't exactly hard to imagine them as Ladybug and Chat Noir, but Alya couldn't say she wasn't shocked. What were the chances that two of her closest friends were both chosen to be miraculous holders, before they even knew each other?

She took a deep breath, ignoring the lingering feelings of doubt that remained, "Tell me what's bothering you," she enquired gently, lowering her voice to add, "Seems like that's my job now anyway." The subtle twitch of his cat ears and the slight smirk told her that he'd heard her. "Marinette told you before she told me." He stated, all his pain tumbling into those words, "She trusts you more."

Rena Rouge shook her head, manoeuvring him by the shoulders so he was actually looking at her. "She doesn't," she assured him, reluctant to spill all of Marinette's secrets, "I swear she doesn't. It wasn't that that made her come to me and not you." Chat Noir shook his head dismissively, turning around to pace across the roof, "Then why did she choose you over me?"

_Because she loves you- both yous- and she's afraid to show any weakness in case you and all of her friends disown her._

"I can't tell you. I won't betray her any more than I already have." She told him firmly, hoping he wouldn't ask anything more, just accept her words. Of course he didn't, "It can't be that good of a reason then." Why did they have to make her choose like this? Telling Chat Noir could hurt Marinette, but not telling him could hurt them both. Maybe that was the answer: pick the way that will give them both the least pain. But what ay was that? Nothing she could do would keep them both from harm. Frustrated, she glared at him, "Have you maybe considered what I want, Chat?" She asked him, "I can't tell Ladybug what I told you, and I can't tell you what she told me. You think I want to be part of this exhausting game of tug of war?"

For the second time that week, Rena Rouge felt herself break just a little. The power of the miraculous gave more strength this time, keeping her in control of her words. She'd have to thank Trixx later. Not stopping to let him answer, she continued, "All I have ever wanted was to protect my friends, and now you are forcing me to pick a side."

"Rena, I'm not-" he began, but Rena Rouge fixed him with a fiery look, and he stopped.

"It doesn't matter what you think, Chat, I'm not going to pick. I'd rather lose you both than have one of you, but live the rest of my life feeling guilty about the other."

With that, she jumped away, not heading towards her house. She couldn't even think about sitting still.

xXx

"Hey, Alya!" Marinette called, running towards her.

"Hey, girl," She greeted, unable to mister any semblance of enthusiasm, "You okay?" Marinette nodded, looking at her doubtfully. "What's wrong, Alya?" She asked, "Something's bothering you." She could feel someone's eyes on her, glancing over Marinette's shoulder to see Adrien watching them across the room. He looked like a kicked puppy, but Alya saw remorse there too. _Good for him. Maybe he'll stop moping and actually talk to Marinette now._ "I'm fine," she reassured Marinette, still looking at Adrien, "Just waiting for someone to do something."

Marinette squinted at her in confusion, trying to follow her eyes. Alya didn't look away, half wanting her to realise something was wrong between her and Adrien. "Okay then…" Marinette said, still looking around. Adrien flinched away when her eyes found him, and her face fell into a frown, but she didn't mention it.

Discreetly, she handed Marinette the little hexagonal box that held the fox miraculous. "Thanks for letting me keep it for last night." She told her, smiling gratefully, "I had a really good talk with Chat." Marinette laughed, and Alya could feel Adrien's gaze on them again. She shuffled uncomfortably as Marinette added, "I don't know how he manages running around every night, I know I can't." Her eyes clouded with emotion for a second, and Alya could tell she was thinking about how true her words were. Marinette didn't function in the same way Adrien did- she wasn't used to the late nights like he was. Adrien had lived with waking earlier and sleeping late since he was little, constantly thrown about by his schedule. "It's different for him," she told Marinette, "It doesn't effect him because he uses it as an escape- haven't you noticed how lonely he is?" Alya made sure to raise her voice a little, hoping Adrien was trying to listen anyway. Her friend nodded, "It's hard not to."

"You need to talk to him, Marinette," Alya told him, "He's hurt because he thinks you trust me more than him, and-"

"What?" Marinette interrupted._ I really hope you're listening, sunshine._ "But that's not true!"

"I know that, Marinette," she comforted, "But he was asking why-" Alya froze as fear made her tremble slightly. She grabbed Alya's arm for support, looking up her, "You didn't tell him, did you?"

Alya wrapped her arms around Marinette, knowing that in front of school wasn't the base place for her to have a breakdown. "No, I didn't tell him." She may have told Chat Noir that she wasn't going to pick a side, but at that moment Alya couldn't care less. Marinette needed her to be there for her, and that's where she would be. If Adrien wasn't going to talk to her- as himself _or_ Chat Noir- then maybe he didn't deserve for her to wait for him to help himself. If she was honest, it didn't really matter; she was angry with him for blaming Marinette, rather than actually trying to work out what had happened. "I wouldn't do that."

A little stab of guilt hit her heart. She _did_ do that.

**-**

**Does anyone else really enjoy reading Soulmates AUs? I might write one if anyone wants one... leave a review or PM me, I guess? Or I might just do it anyway ;)**


	5. Chapter 5

**I was in physics the other day, and I was thinking about fan fiction (because who actually does work when they're meant to (I'm kidding, I like physics so I was also doing all the work I was supposed to be doing, like the perfect student I am (also kidding, I'm pretty amazing but no one's perfect))). And then I almost had a heart attack because I realised how long it had been since I updated this…**

**So I wrote a metaphor, then assessed which type of radiation is the most dangerous, and then fit the metaphor into a chapter. So this is half science (before you leave, don't worry, Adrien is a man of science and is very good at explaining things) and half Adrien trying to get Alya to forgive him. But that's next chapter now, because the buildup was getting long. **

**Also Miss Bustier being… well, Miss Bustier, Peacemaking Master.**

—

Alya glared at the back of Adrien's head, her hot gaze making him shift uncomfortably. When she'd caught him staring earlier, she'd decided to return the favour when he couldn't get away form her. She couldn't resist the evil grin that split her face as his shoulders slumped just a little further.

Nino put a hand on his shoulder, asking something she couldn't hear. Adrien replied in an equally quiet voice, meaning- much to her irritation- she couldn't hear it either. She thought she caught her name among his soft words, and her suspicions were confirmed when Nino looked at her with an eyebrow raised in questioning. Alya shrugged, unable to answer while the classroom was so silent. Nino turned away with a dejected sigh, returning to his work.

She looked down at her work, trying to concentrate between burning holes in the back of Adrien's head, and ignoring the feeling that, once again, she was being watching. Alya glanced around nervously, looking around until she spotted the pair of eyes looking at her.

She groaned.

It was Miss Bustier, who saw her looking- even though Alya had stopped searching the room as soon as she saw it was her teacher- and smiled knowingly. She motioned to Adrien, the gesture carefully concealed from everyone but her, and then to Alya. Helpless, Alya just nodded to show her teacher that she'd be right. Miss Bustier's brow furrowed in concern, but her eyes was gentle and bright with curiosity.

Marinette nudged her, sliding a note across the table:

_Adrien said you guys are fighting? What happened?_

Alya picked up her pen, glad to be doing anything other than having a silent conversation, across the classroom, with her teacher. She tapped the end on the table, impatient but not sure how to respond.

_What did he say? Whatever he'd told you, he did this to himself. It's his fault. _

Marinette read the message, tilting her head to the side as she looked at her again. Marinette giggled, coving it up with a cough, and grabbed the paper back.

_You're fighting with everyone this week! First with Chaton_-

Marinette blushed slightly, before scribbling out the last two letters. Alya smirked, realising how much more she'd be blushing if she knew she was talking about Adrien, but it was more than enough for it to be Chat Noir. Alya may have been sleep deprived and overwhelmed, but she hadn't been lying when she told Marinette that she loved Chat Noir. She was glad Marinette wasn't as nervous around Chat Noir as she was around Adrien, or Alya was sure Ladybug wouldn't do her job as well as she did. No matter how long Marinette spent with Adrien, she could never quite shake her uneasiness around him; she didn't stutter anymore- something Alya took immense pride in- but she had a near constant blush, and couldn't take a compliment from him with dissolving into a puddle of pure happiness. Still, it was progress.

-_and now with Adrien? I've heard of a protective best friend, but this is a new level ;)_

Alya tried to smile but she was sure it wouldn't reach her eyes. She couldn't explain to Marinette about what had happened, or tell her that she was really only fighting with one person. She almost wished she could be disloyal to Chat Noir- to Adrien- and just spill everything that had happened in the last two days.

But she couldn't break a promise.

How she felt about Adrien was irrelevant; however much she disliked him at that moment, Alya wouldn't go back on her word. The truth was something she aspired to always uncover, to show to the world. It was why she loved journalism, and it was why she started the Ladyblog. But it didn't matter how much she wanted to tell Marinette, it wasn't her secret to tell.

Alya sighed, not replying to her friend's note this time. Miss Bustier was watching her again, and Alya tried very hard to ignore her. "Early lunch, class!" The teacher called suddenly, grinning, "Have fun!" Excited chatter started amongst the students, none of them even remotely shocked that Miss Bustier had dismissed them before the end of the lesson. Alya groaned loudly, Marinette looking at her like she'd lost her mind.

"You can all go." Miss Bustier added, but then turned to Alya and Adrien, "Except you two." Adrien's soft sigh was audible as he put him bag back on the floor by him feet. Nino chuckled, wishing him luck as Marinette dragged him out the door with a concerned frown. Miss Bustier perched on the corner of the desk, smiling at them warmly, "I've noticed there's a lot of anger between you guys." Alya opened her mouth to protest, but ended up closing it again when she realised it was pointless. Adrien was silent.

"I don't need you to tell me what's happening if you don't want to, but I suspect it has something to do with Marinette," their teacher continued, not taking any notice of their surprise, "So I'm going to try to help you rebuild your friendship, and remind you why you were friends to begin with." Adrien looked at Alya with a small, hopeful smile. She squinted at him, trying to ignore her sudden desire to make it right.

Adrien was being… unreasonable, and she wasn't going to deal with his insecurities and assumptions, but that didn't mean she didn't value their friendship. She wished it could go back to the way it was before, even if that meant forgetting about their superhero identities as well. Alya shrugged, trying not to seem too pleased that they had the chance to make amends- she didn't want to Adrien to get the idea that he was instantly forgiven or something.

"Okay then," Miss Bustier said, seeing their unspoken agreement, "Why don't we start off with why this… disagreement is happening." Adrien cleared his throat awkwardly, fidgeting with the hem of his shirt, "I said something about Marinette to Alya- I was upset and I didn't really mean what I said- and Alya thought I was trying to-" Adrien looked at her, Alya raising an eyebrow at his word vomit. His shoulders slumped as he met her unamused gaze, "I'm making excuses. I shouldn't have said what I did."

Miss Bustier nodded in approval, but Alya wasn't convinced. She wanted to say her bit. "Sunshine, here," she began, pointing a thumb at Adrien, "Make a couple of assumptions about Marinette without asking for the facts, and- like some mopey toddler- asked me to pick a side."

"I didn't!" Adrien interrupted, "I just wanted-"

Alya slammed the palm of her hand down, hard, on the table. The noise made both him and Miss Bustier flinch, but Alya was _on fire_. She was furious all over again; "You didn't listen, Adrien! It wasn't my secret to tell, but you _wouldn't_ listen," her voice faded to a whisper, "You knew exactly where you could find her, you dumb cat," Miss Bustier looked startled by her outburst, eyes wide and confused. Her teacher clearly hadn't realised how far their fight had gone, nor how deep the _disagreement_\- she almost laughed at Miss Bustier's word- was.

Adrien's expression was blank, eyes fixed intensely on hers. "But instead of helping yourself, I had to watch you _wallow_ in your doubt and self-pity." Guilt pooled in her stomach, "You made me lie to my best friend. When I first came here, she was all I had, and I lied to her because you asked me to." Adrien bowed his head slightly, no longer meeting Alya's eyes. He twisted his ring around his finger subconsciously, staring at the shining metal.

Alya reached over to tap his shoulder, softening slightly. He stiffened before looking up. "Do you understand why it hurts me, Adrien? She's given me _so_ much." Alya motioned to his ring, touching the space where her miraculous would fall. Miss Bustier coughed, watching them curiously. Adrien nodded, remaining silent.

Miss Bustier grinned, "I don't know quite what just happened, but I think it's working." Alya laughed, Adrien joining in after a second of hesitation. _If only she knew…_


	6. Chapter 6

"Okay, children." Miss Bustier told them, "I want you to write a letter about everything you love about each other. I want you to tell me exactly why you're friends." Alya sighed. She was beginning to regret even trying to make amends with Adrien- at least using Miss Bustier's methods. "When you're both done, we'll see if we want to share them." Miss Bustier added optimistically.

Begrudgingly, Alya grabbed a pen and her notebook, offering a page to Adrien. He took it, muttering his thanks. Not thinking about her words, she began:

_Why am I friends with Adrien Agreste? He's kind, and he's forgiving, but everyone knows that. _Everyone_ thinks that about him. I think when people see Marinette, Nino and I, they assume we're just in it for the fame, or his money, or because we want to exploit him- I know that's what his father thinks about everyone here._

_So maybe that's it. Maybe, I'm friends with him because he deserves it. Because most people who see us _would_ think that, and they're wrong. If I have to be honest, I'm friends with Adrien because he's better than _those_ people, and he makes everyone around him better too. Our first day of school, Marinette and I shunned him on sight, assuming he was just like Chloe, spoilt and bratty. I can hardly blame him for making assumptions about Marinette, can I? _

_I like Adrien because of the way he hides behind his fake smiles and gentle words. He's so _good_, that he doesn't even want to burden someone with his troubles, no matter how much we assure him we want to know. It's not because I like looking at Mr-Perfect-Model-Happy-Sunshine-Child Adrien Agreste, its because he is selfless. He's selfless and no one else sees it like I do, except perhaps Mari and Nino. _

_There's a reason my nickname for him in 'Sunshine', and it's because when he's happy he _glows_. He's this innocent, little bubbly source of light! Those who get to witness his true smile never forget the sight- its, quite literally, liquid warmth. So rare and so pure. God, I sound like Marinette. _

Alya chuckled nervously, despite the fact that she wasn't actually sharing her writing yet. She hadn't quite realised how… _true_ her words were.

_It doesn't matter how much I sound like a lovesick puppy, its important, and he should know. That's why I'm friends with Adrien Agreste._

Alya slid the paper across the desk towards Miss Bustier, who smiled encouragingly. Her eyes flitted over the paper as she read, Alya feeling unnecessarily uneasy. Miss Bustier frowned and looked at Adrien, who was either dutifully ignoring them, or just hadn't noticed Alya had finished. He had his tongue stuck out in concentration, an amused glint in his eyes as he furiously scribbled on the paper. It was something she'd heard Marinette describe as adorable before.

After a moment, he held the paper up triumphantly, beaming. Miss Bustier glanced at Alya, silently asking _'Is that the smile?' _Alya shook her head and Miss Bustier seemed to deflate, obviously hoping to catch a glimpse of the smile she'd described. It wasn't that his grin was fake- no, Alya was certain it was genuine- but it wasn't quite _right_. She couldn't explain it.

"Can I read mine?" Adrien asked hopefully, "I'd really like to share." Alya narrowed her eyes at his slightly mischievous tone, but Miss Bustier, not wanting to dampen his spirit, nodded. He cleared his thought, and Alya sensed a little of his Chat Noir bravado.

"Alya is really stubborn. If she sets her mind on something, she'll get it." Adrien gestured to her, waving his hand with a flourish. Alya groaned quietly. _Your Chat's showing- reign it in, would you? _"And it's not just as simple as perseverance," he continued, "It's this amazing, intense determination. You can see it most when she's trying to get to the truth- it's this scary gleam in her eyes that makes you want to either cave in, and tell her all your secrets." He counted on his fingers, and Alya couldn't help but think he must be a brilliant public speaker, "Or run. And run fast."

Miss Bustier chuckled, covering her mouth with a hand. "The only way I could think to describe it, was with an ingenious science metaphor." Alya deadpanned._ Of course- because there's clearly no other way to compliment me. I'm _that_ amazing._ "So, I like to think of Alya as like gamma radiation-"

"Excuse me?" Alya interrupted, "That's really not where I thought you were-" Adrien held a finger to his lips and _shushed_ her. He shushed her. The nerve- "Alya isn't like alpha and beta radiation, because honestly, they're both pretty pitiful." Adrien ignored Alya's fury, even though she was practically steaming. "Alpha particles are like Alya's little sisters- they throw a tantrum, get annoyed, but they give up fairly quickly- just like alpha radiation is blocked by paper."

Where was this going? Was Adrien really using physics to do this? Why couldn't he just write it down like she'd done? Alya was quite certain he wasn't even looking at his paper, like he'd already memorised what he'd written and knew exactly what he wanted to say. "And beta particles, which are instead blocked by the more sturdy, but still pathetic, aluminium foil- I think they're like Alix and Kim. They both want to win their bets, but once they lose, that's it. Game over. The end."

At that point, Alya was really trying to remember that lesson. She knew she'd learnt this at some point, but science wasn't exactly her best subject, nor a subject she was interested in. Even Miss Bustier, who seemed to have basic knowledge of any subject you could possibly think of, looked lost. Adrien smirked, probably revealing in his 'superior' knowledge. "So when I said that Alya is like gamma radiation, what I meant was that she is _unstoppable_. She's the first to the scene, the first to find the hidden meaning, or put the pieces of the puzzle together." He frowned, clearly remembering the secret she had uncovered, but, after a brief moment, all his smugness returned. "The only thing that's going to keep her from achieving what she wants is very, _very_ thick lead, or a couple of miles of concrete."

Then he smiled.

And not that cheap, supermodel smile that he wore like a mask- no, this smile was a real one. The sunshine smile she'd described in her letter; that beaming, bright, utterly innocent joy that she- if she was honest- was privileged to see. A small squeal escaped Miss Bustier as she gazed at Adrien in wonder. The teacher looked at her in awe, waiting for confirmation. Alya put a hand on her arm, nodding.

"That's the one."


	7. Chapter 7

**So, I wrote the beginning of this to I Want It That Way by Backstreet Boy, but mainly I was dying from laughter at the music video. Seriously, everyone watch it- its the embodiment of cringe. **

**While writing this, it is about midnight in England, it's raining (of course) and it's windy as hell. My house… let's just say it's rather creaky and draughty, so everything is either banging or making that creepy swooshing noise. That and the occasional coughing fit (no, the uncontrollable laughing at my **_**incredibly**_** dated taste in music is not helping) is keeping me awake, and that's why I'm here, doing this. **

**Also, for some reason, Speckleflower is awake too, so I'm talking to her… The music's moved on to Wonderwall by Oasis which is… fine, I guess. You didn't need to know any of that, but oh well- I like oversharing! (hehe- *awkwardly laughing* (anonymous wishes she wasn't nocturnal so this couldn't happen (*realises she's talking about herself in third person* (*realises she's four brackets deep*))))**

**Enjoy! (Thank God, that's over)**

—

Adrien hadn't seemed fazed by their reaction at all, and Alya assumed the if he was confused, he wasn't going to show it. Miss Bustier handed him Alya's letter, a little more composed post-sunshine, than during. She watched him curiously, as emotion slid carelessly across his expression.

When he was finished reading, he put the paper down on the table, looking at his hands. He twisted his miraculous, and when his fingers fumbled for a second, she could she that his hands were shaking. What was it? Anger? Sadness? Guilt, maybe? Alya almost hoped it was guilt, her irrational brain once agin forgetting how hypercritical she was being. Shame swirled in her stomach; had she really just thought that?

Miss Bustier cleared her throat, "I'm going to leave you two alone to talk about this." Alya shot her a desperate glance, but the teacher was looking at everything but her, pointedly avoiding her eyes. Adrien didn't move, even as Miss Bustier slammed the door just a little too enthusiastically. "Alya, I didn't know you even saw me like that-" Adrien began, standing up. He took a deep breathe, "I didn't know that any of you noticed." Alya came out from her side of the desk so they were facing each other. "Alya, I thought you just-"

She interrupted him with a hug, pulling him close to her chest. Alya could feel his ribs though his shirt, noticing for the first time that he was almost painfully skinny. She frowned into his shoulder; whenever Marinette had fussed over Adrien's strict diet, she'd basically ignored her. She though her friend had been overreacting. Alya knew he was slim, but now she was sure he was underfed.

"I'm going to make Mari bring you extra food everyday, Sunshine." She whispered, feeling him stiffen, "You're too bony. They don't feed you enough." Adrien chuckle quietly, muttering something that sounded dangerously similar to "Okay, mum." But, for that moment, she didn't care whether she was acting like his mother, and she pulled him closer, knowing the longer she could stall, the more time she would have to prepare before she actually had to talk to him.

Adrien's whole body shifted in a long sigh, although Alya wasn't sure exactly why he was sighing without being able to see his face. He pushed away lightly, and Alya could see he was frowning, probably matching her expression. "We have to talk about this, Alya. We can't keep fighting."

"I know," Alya mumbled, moving to sit down in the space where Nino usually sat, and Adrien took his seat, smiling reassuringly. "Adrien, I'm sorry." Alya blurted out, not entirely sure what she was apologising for.

Adrien raised an eyebrow at her, clearly having the same thought. "I- I should've shouted like that the other day," she tried to explain, "I didn't- I don't- never meant to say what I did." Alya fell silent, feeling as if something was going unsaid. "No, that's not it," she added, brows furrowed, "I'm sorry I've never told you how much we all care before now." Adrien took a shaky breath, running a hand through his hair, "No one tells me that- its not your fault."

Alya shook her head in disbelief, struggling with how she'd missed it before. She snorted angrily, grabbing his arm to make him look at her, "That's exactly why I should have been the one to tell you!" Adrien flinched at her volume and she fought to regain some control of her voice, "You are so loved, Adrien, and no one told you."

"I don't think that's-" Adrien began, shrugging, defeated. Alya reached for his other arm, starling him into stopping. "No." She growled, "Stop doubting it, or I won't hesitate to go get my miraculous from Mari, and trap you in your worst nightmare." Adrien nodded, but his dejected expression didn't change. Alya softened, feeling most of her anger drain away; she still wasn't sure what she could do to convince him.

"I should apologise too, Alya." Adrien confessed, before she could do anything further, "I've put you in danger, and I made you lie to Marinette. I shouldn't have asked that from you." Alya nodded- she couldn't exactly disagree. She sighed, rubbing a hand against her face. She was tired; she was tired of all the lying and keeping secrets, she was tired of being watched from afar and knowing she couldn't do anything... Maybe she'd been wrong about that.

"You reacted like that because you thought no one cared about you, didn't you?" She asked, slumping into her seat, "You felt that Ladybug was the only one who was there for you, and then she didn't turn up." Adrien nodded but didn't say anything more. Alya thought she saw him shudder, and she tilted her head to get a better look at his face. "Sunshine?"

The bell rang for the end of lunch, making Adrien glance up at the door in panic. Alya was about to follow his gaze, when she noticed his red eyes and tearstained cheeks. He'd been… crying? Alya had known that he was hurt, but she didn't think she'd even seen him cry. She had a feeling it was part of his Perfect-Model-Child facade, to never show the weakness suggested by tears, but now… this was _Adrien_. Just Adrien, and none of that.

Kim pushed his way into the room, and Alya saw Adrien's eyes widen in fear- clearly he wasn't ready for everyone to know about that side of him yet. Alya lunged for him, pulling him into her chest while spinning them around so his back was to the door. It was a temporary solution, sure, but it would buy them some time. Adrien's body lurched in a sob, but he was silent, burying his face in Alya's shoulder. Alya pressed her hand to the back of his head, hiding him further. "Try to calm down, Adrien," she whispered, "Do you want to get out of here?" Adrien nodded, his breathing evening out a little.

More of the students were coming into the classroom, and Alya count help but wish for someone useful to walk in- Miss Bustier would be great, but Marinette, or Nino even, would do. They were getting weird looks from around the class, but whenever someone met Alya's gaze, she made sure to send enough venom their way. It didn't matter to her _what_ they were thinking, just that they were thinking at all. Alya tensed up as Chloe walked in, catching sight of them immediately.

Alya hissed quietly at the look of utter disgust on Chloe's face, as if she was the only person that was allowed to touch Adrien but she relaxed with a sigh of relief as Marinette walked in, talking to Miss Bustier. Nino came in after them, headphones on, most likely oblivious to anything happening around him- Marinette, however, was not.

Her friend's careless smile fell from her face, concern clouding her eyes. Her brows furrowed in distress, as she took in his and Alya's position. "If you could see Marinette right now, you'd believe me." Alya stated, releasing him a little so she could twist their bodies towards the front of the class. Being at the front, and close to the door, meant that now everyone else was seated, no one could see him. "Let me see- I don't mind… her looking at me," he responded. Alya hesitated, not wanting him to regret what he chose. Adrien, sensing her indecision, added, "She'll have to know anyway."

Reluctantly, she let Adrien go, trying not to cringe at Marinette's gasp of shock. Alya placed a comforting hand on his arm as he winced slightly. Miss Bustier looked on in confusion, but motioned for Alya to take Adrien out of the room, which she did gladly.

As she passed Marinette, dragging Adrien behind her, Alya tugged her friend with them by the hand. She caught sight of Nino, drumming his hands against the table in time with the rhythm, and sniggered; had he really not noticed _any_ of that? Alya knew he got distracted by his music, but she didn't think he was _that_ bad.

That level of distraction was almost… _suspicious_.

Shoving both her friends through the door, she turned back to look at him, watching as he took his headphones off. Nino looked at her, smirking, and sent her a thumbs up, punctuating the gesture with a sly wink. Alya couldn't help but laugh, and she suddenly knew everything was going to be okay.

—

**Yay! Another chapter (woohoo, go me) done. Hope you enjoyed, and that you all can't wait for the pain and suffering that's going to come with the next chapter… **


	8. Chapter 8

**Yeah, so it's midnight. I should really work on breaking this habit of writing at stupid times, but it's fine. I'm in a bad mood- not really sure why- and I just wanted to write fan fiction, and here I am. I'm just gonna sit her, eat chocolate, listen to angsty music and write some miserable sadness.**

**Ugh, I'm bored of being mopey. It probably has something to do with having to spend extended periods of time with my family, specifically my sister. I mean, I love her, but she's much younger than me, and she can be **_**so**_** annoying. OH, and then there's the prospect of getting some new siblings in the next couple of weeks… Two (they're twins) brothers to be exact. **

**Thought I'd let you all know in case I randomly disappear for weeks. God, I hope not. Not that I'm the most consistent at posting…**

**Enjoy this while it lasts ;)**

—

Alya sighed, feeling heavy. At the same time, she felt tension she'd refused to acknowledge falling away; apparently, the weight of her classmates' stares had bothered her more than she cared to admit. Despite that, she almost wished she was back in that classroom- well, it was less the classroom, and more Nino that she wanted to be with. He _always_ made it better, even when he didn't actually know what was wrong. He'd seen everything happening in there, and he'd chosen to pretend not to notice to spare his friend's dignity.

The little that was left…

Nino Lahiffe was, perhaps, the most decent, kind, _brilliant_ person she knew. Alya was sure she loved him- she'd loved him from the day they'd been locked in that cage at the zoo, even if she hadn't realised it yet. Alya hadn't really wanted to admit it to herself until she realised he was Carapace. Not because he was a superhero, but because she'd been in danger and that was when he appeared. There hadn't been a Carapace until she'd been in danger, until _she'd _needed him. Just another thing they'd both have to thank Marinette for.

"Alya…" Marinette whispered as she turned around, "What's happening? Why is Adrien upset?" Adrien sent her a pleading look, but Alya chuckled and shook her head. "You said it yourself, Adrien. She'll have to see you eventually." She poked his chest, and he pouted at her, "And I mean _all_ of you, Sunshine."

Adrien rubbed a hand over his eyes, letting his fingers run through his hair. Marinette shuffled, a mixture of confusion, nerves and concern. Mainly concern… Alya felt like she shouldn't be watching, but she could hardly leave them out here, so Adrien could chicken out and Marinette could end up even more of a mess than she was before.

No, this needed to happen, and Alya was going to do _everything_ in her power to make sure it did.

"I messed up, Marinette," Adrien groaned, sinking to the floor against the wall, "I did something really stupid, and then I dragged Alya into it." Alya shoved Marinette closer, and she glanced over her shoulder doubtfully. She shot Marinette a thumbs up, trying to seem much more confident that she actually felt… which was not very.

Marinette deadpanned, easily seeing through her deceit, and Alya smiled softly, "Go on, Marinette. You can do this."

Marinette nodded determinately, crouching next to Adrien, who didn't react. Marinette put a hand on his arm, startling him. "I can't believe I that," Adrien told the wall across form him, "I'm awful." Marinette moved her hand down to his, squeezing. Alya grinned at her sudden boldness, seeing no hesitation in her best friends movements. Marinette used her other hand to move his face so he was looking at her, and Alya was sure her cheeks would_ fall off _if she smiled any wider.

"Whatever you did, Adrien, it's not going to make me hate you," Marinette told him, "I could never hate you." Adrien shook his head, tearing away from her hand so he could stand up to pace. "I'm not lying, I can promise you that." Marinette added, unwavering.

Alya had to give her credit for that- she wasn't sure she would've been able to say that to someone who seemed so sure he had ruined everything. "You don't get it!" He shouted, and Alya took a step away as Marinette stood her ground, "I put Alya in so much danger!" His voice grew quiet, fading into a tiny mumble, "I'm unforgivable."

"I really doubt that, Adrien." Marinette replied, her stance reminding Alya of Ladybug. It was unnerving how similar they looked when Marinette was in conflict resolution mode.

"Oh yeah?" Adrien laughed bitterly, "And what if I told you I'm Chat Noir." Marinette gaped, arms falling limp at her sides. "Bugaboo." He added with a nod, bowing with less bravado, and more sarcasm. Alya didn't even have enough time to process how hilarious that nickname was before Marinette turned to look at her, and Alya didn't even try to feign shock, "You knew?"

Alya nodded, looking at her feet, feeling guilt rise in her again.

It burned.

"It was the night you revealed your identity to me. Everything that happened that night was an accident," Alya explained, "Including me half-revealing your identity to Chat Noir, and him transforming in front of me." Marinette closed her eyes, and Alya could see a tear fall down her cheek.

Alya reached out a hand towards her, but Marinette turned away, attention back to Adrien. "I still made you a promise," Marinette stated blankly, "I don't break my promises."

That voice.

Alya had never heard Marinette so devoid of emotion before. Adrien just stared at her in shock, and Alya couldn't find any words. They stuck in her throat, slowly choking her. "I need time to process this." Marinette said eventually, "Are you two coming back to class?" Adrien shook his head, still silent, and Alya blinked away the blur in her vision. "No." Marinette nodded, and moved to open the door,

"Wait, Marinette…" Marinette froze, her hand against the door. "We can't just ignore this." Adrien insisted, a frightening note of desperation in his voice. Marinette smiled coldly, snorting with contempt, "It's been days, Adrien. You could have said something anytime." She looked at Alya, expression carefully hidden, "Either of you."

Alya's heart stopped, and she had to clutch the hem of her shirt to keep silent. She wanted to speak, to shout and scream and get rid of all her guilt, but Marinette didn't want that. Maybe- just _maybe_\- if Alya let her think about, she might come back to them. But at that moment, Alya was sure that they'd lost her.

Marinette was gone.

The girl in front of her was hard steel, rigid rock; unmoving. Marinette, to her, was everything warm and safe and comforting. Now, she seemed almost… _dead_. Empty. "What's a few more hours?" Alya shivered at her mocking tone, watching, incapable of stopping her, as Marinette left.

Alya fell to her knees, one hand gripping her hair as the other held her up. "What've we done?" She whispered, voice hoarse, "I thought it would be okay. I thought she loved you far too much, I thought she loved _me_ far too much, I can't- I-" Alya's choked out a breathe, feeling it scorch her throat. Adrien sat beside her, and Alya noticed how his fear made his eyes wide like a child's.

He was silent, putting an arm around her shoulder and pulling her closer like she'd done for him earlier. She buried her face in his shirt, clutching at his back as she tried to control her tears. "What've we done, Adrien?" She repeated, ignoring the way he trembled slightly. He shook his head, leaning his cheek against the top of her head, "This was all me. You didn't ask for this."

Alya pushed him away, shaking him by the shoulders roughly, "What are you talking about?" She slapped his forehead lightly, putting a little more force in than was necessary, "You asked me to keep it a secret, but that doesn't mean that I couldn't have told her."

"You wanted to give me a chance, I didn't take it." Adrien admitted with a small smile, "Marinette has every right to be upset with _both_ of us- not just _me_, not just _you_."

Alya nodded, but she avoided his eyes. "Hey," Adrien called, gently lifting her chin, "She'll come around. We both know how important being herself is to her- she doesn't change for anyone, including us, and we both know that wasn't our Marinette, or our Ladybug."

"This isn't going to be easy- Adrien, I broke her trust and didn't even tell her." Alya told him, brow furrowed as she regained some of her usual strength. She took a deep breathe and was relieved to find that her chest had stopped aching from all the sobbing she held back.

"Come on, Alya," Adrien smirked, winking at her, "Don't make me think up another physics metaphor!" She groaned, his hopeful joking far too contagious to ignore. Alya rolled her eyes as he pretended to be hurt. "You didn't like it, Rena?" He teased, "I tried really hard to get that right… just for you." Alya giggled and he pouted, his kitten eyes sparkling like some strange cartoon character.

"God, it's like you're dating," a grumpy voice moaned from within Adrien's jacket, a tiny black head poking out to scowl at them, "I can't stand all this soppy friendship stuff." Alya reached out a curious hand, but the kwami hissed at her, and swiped a clawed hand at her fingers.

"Oh whatever, Plagg," Adrien muttered, brightening after a moment of thought, "I won't mention how much you constantly moon over your _Sugarcube_." Plagg gasped at his holder, darting out of the jacket to perch on Alya's shoulder. "On second thoughts, you can pet me all you want as long as you keep me away from _him_." Adrien tilted his head to the side, reaching out to scratch under Plagg's chin.

He stifled a purr, and Adrien chuckled, moving up to his ears. Alya watched as Adrien stroked Plagg with unconcealed affection, the kwami finally relenting and pushing up against his holder's hand. She wished she got to be this close with Trixx, but she doubted that would ever happen now. Maybe Marinette wouldn't put their problems before Paris, but it was unlikely that there would be anymore weekends with her miraculous in the future.

Alya sighed, and Plagg nuzzled her neck, looking up at her with glowing, green eyes. They were uncanny to Adrien's, so close that she wouldn't be able to distinguish them from Chat Noir's. She wondered if that was just a coincidence, or his transformation making them appear that way. "Pigtails will come back, kid." Plagg closed his eyes briefly, "I really, really hope she does." The kwami hesitated for a moment, and Adrien seemed surprised before Plagg added, "I would give anything to be with Tikki again- she's… she's my other half." Alya nodded down at him, unable to keep the smile off her lips.

"Awww!" Adrien grinned, "Plagg misses his girlfriend!" Plagg growled, baring his tiny teeth at him. "Shut up, Sunshine." Alya added, flicking his noise. Adrien laughed despite rubbing his noise from the pain. The bell for the end of the lesson rang, and the class came rushing out, most not noticing the pair on the floor. Marinette walked straight past them, and Alya had to stop herself from instinctively calling out her name, as she would usually do before they went home.

Last to leave was Nino, who glared down at them, no trace of the cool, collected boy who had made her laugh an hour ago. "Hey, Nino, what-" Nino slammed a hand against the wall, silencing Adrien's greeting.

"What. The hell. Is happening?"

—

**Oooo Nino maaadddd ;) Mmmm… yes, this has greatly improved my mood!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Hey everyone! This is a long one, because I suddenly seem to have **_**a lot**_** of time on my hands… This one is from Nino's perspective, because it made sense to explain his thought process, and also he and Alya had become my favourite characters, so I couldn't resist writing at least one chapter (there'll probably be more) in his perspective. **

**And for**** Dragon Lord Draco**** and ****Speckleflower****, someone will be akumatised… eventually. It might not be who you think though. **

**In response to ****araiaknyte****'s review on chapter 7, I think my physics metaphor was **_**beta**_**ful (thanks for that one, Speckle), and no one can tell me any different- also you have no idea how much fun I had writing mad Nino! He is the best.**

**To ****Guest****: I'm glad you're addicted, it's my aim to please.**

**Thank you to everyone else who reviewed! They always make me smile when I see them (ask Speckle, she'll tell you) and I tend to act upon any suggestions that I get, even if I don't necessarily mention it again (bad anonymous)!**

**Now remember, Nino knows all… Nino sees all.**

—

The word 'angry' couldn't begin to describe how he felt. Sure, earlier he'd made Alya laugh- she looked like she _really_ needed that laugh- but that didn't mean he was going to take being left in the dark. He'd been watched Alya, Marinette and Adrien dance around each other all week, which, to be fair, was pretty normal for Marinette, but Alya and Adrien? They'd been so close this last year, that Nino was almost worried that his best friend status was in danger.

He was used to not knowing everything. There'd always been secrets between the group, most of which he'd managed to unearth, either accidentally or with a little digging. The digging was only necessary for Alya, who was by far the most tight-lipped when it came to hiding things. Marinette and Adrien were a bit more… careless.

Adrien's mistake had come first, and it had resulted in Nino knowing exactly why you could never find him during akuma attacks.

_One year earlier…_

"_Adrien?" Nino called, "Where are you, dude?" The classroom he'd seen Adrien dart into was completely empty, the space cold from the open window. Nino pulled his jacket closer to his body, shuffling over to the window to close it. "Who opened this window?" He muttered, "It's December, why-"_

_Nino's words were silenced as a black figure came racing towards him, heading straight for the open window. Nino stepped to the side, blinking as Chat Noir jumped into the room, not noticing him standing there. "Plagg, claws in." He said quietly, leaning out the doorway into the corridor as a green light washed over him. "I'm dying!" Someone moaned, earning a groan from Chat Noir, "Give me cheese!" Nino slid down the wall, eyes wide as he recognised the answering chuckle, Chat Noir handing his kwami something. _

"_This is why you're the best holder, Adrien." A tiny, black cat floated into view, and Nino realised that the voice he heard was most likely Adrien's kwami. "Didn't you say I was, and I quote, 'lazy and stupid' this morning?" Adrien asked with a smirk. How he had not seen Nino yet was a mystery. He wasn't making any effort to conceal himself; Nino was frozen to the floor, staring at his friend as the scene unfolded. _

"_Kid, you were lounging on a roof to 'soak in the sunlight'," the kwami shot back, smirking, "I know that you've gained some cat-like tendencies, but you're not coldblooded!" Adrien mumbled something in response that Nino couldn't hear, the pair disappearing through the doorway as the kwami cackled. _

"_Adrien is-" Nino couldn't quite form the right words to express what he had just seen. He wasn't all that shocked, but he also wasn't too sure how he'd missed it before. Knowing the Adrien wasn't where he was supposed to be had freaked him out enough, but now he was Chat Noir? That meant he was _guaranteed_ to be in danger. And what was he supposed to tell him? _Hey, dude, I just found out you're Chat Noir, and you're not allowed to help Ladybug anymore because I'm too afraid you're not going to come back?

_No, Nino was pretty sure that wasn't the best decision._

It had taken a couple of weeks for Nino to choose what to do next, but he'd known whatever he did, he would do it for Adrien. He was his best friend- he was Adrien's _first_ friend, and Nino strived to be everything Adrien had never had in his early childhood. Nino didn't say anything to Adrien to hint he knew his identity, but whenever there was an akuma, he make little complaint in response to Adrien's excuses for leaving.

He had got not the habit of leaving windows slightly ajar, turning his back to the secluded alleyways he started to notice now that he was Carapace more often, especially when he knew that Adrien would need somewhere to retransform nearby. He actively distracted Marinette and Alya from those areas, keeping them away while trying not to make them suspicious that he was covering for Adrien.

After that, Nino's brain was always subconsciously looking for signs of the other superheroes' identities. He tried really hard not to think about it, but sometimes he just couldn't stop himself. It was just a month later, when he found out about Marinette.

_Marinette's bag had moved. Nino had seen it. There was_ no way_ he'd imagined it. He'd always suspected something was going on with that purse; Marinette never went anywhere without it, and she refused to let anyone else touch it. What was in there- some little creature? A pet? Whatever it was, it seemed as untouchable and precious to her as- Nino stopped, finishing the thought in a hoarse whisper._

"_Earrings."_

_Little circular, black studs, that- upon closer inspection- were really a deep, dark red. _

Ladybug_ red._

_This reveal was a lot less dramatic, and yet, it seemed to have winded him. Maybe it was because sweet, caring Marinette was actually selfless and confident Ladybug, but Nino wasn't really that surprised when he thought about Adrien's identity. No, it was more that Marinette- who he hung out with much more than Adrien- had managed to keep this from him for so long. Adrien had been raised to appear a certain way, a mask he usually broke away from when they were together, but Marinette couldn't lie. She _never_ lied. She had some wild excuses, but Nino always figured they ere out of embarrassment rather than secrecy. _

_Appearances mean nothing._

Nino chided himself silently, remembering how often he told Adrien off for hiding his feelings. He repeated over and over; don't stop looking, keep them safe. It was probably how he'd now successfully found out the identities of both of Paris' first superheroes, but Nino wasn't sorry. He knew that sometimes his friends just wanted to mind their own business, but he noticed regularly that they were the last of his class not to be akumatised- he saw that even before he knew that they were Ladybug and Chat Noir. He knew Marinette and Adrien were part of a dwindling population of Parisians, and he intended for them to remain there. He would be as nosy as he needed to be, as long as it meant that he could help them past their problems, and make sure Hawkmoth's godawful butterflies stayed out.

Although he'd forgiven himself long ago, Nino resented the part of him that had been akumatised. It disgusted him to know that he'd been attacking two people that he could now easily call his family. But really, what were the chances that he knew both Ladybug _and_ Chat Noir? Who thought that putting them so close together, while not allowing them to know each others' identities, was a good idea? Master Fu must have being going mad when he chose them.

Nino had worked much harder after that. He made more of an effort to separate them, and, much to her dismay and confusion, even worked against some of Alya's plans to get them together. He wished he could tell her, just so he would never have to see the hurt it caused. He knew it was damaging their relationship, but he couldn't just tell her!

He was sure Alya thought otherwise, but Nino had known she was Rena Rouge long before Ladybug revealed their identities to each other. He'd known since the first time he transformed to become Carapace- he'd been desperate that day, focussing on saving Alya, not keeping his mannerisms in check. Then again, neither had she.

"_Thanks for saving me." Alya said quietly, still looking slightly dazed, "Have you got a name?"_

"_Carapace," he answered in a whisper, although it was more of a sigh of relief, "And I couldn't just sit back and watch that happen- I'm so glad Ladybug gave me this opportunity to-" He cut himself off before he made it personal. _

To save you, Alya.

"_I'm glad too." Alya responded, hardly taking notice of his stutter, before adding under her breath "This certainly tops my entrance." Carapace's heart faltered; her entrance? What was she talking about? Alya smirked to herself, resting her hand against her chest as she was lost in thought. Carapace was pulled into a sudden memory:_

_Nino watched the footage of the new fox hero over Alya's shoulder. She'd been gushing about her for a whole hour, and Nino was almost certain that she was crushing on Rena Rouge at this point. _

_The hero stood beside Ladybug and Chat Noir, grinning with mischief and glee. It was familiar, the way she held herself straight and proud, presented herself with confidence, like the audience didn't even faze her. He was awed by her presence, drawn in by the way she used her powers flawlessly, even though she'd never use them before. _

_Wow, he really sounded obsessed at this point, didn't he? _

_Nino felt a little guilty for his thoughts, while he stood next to his girlfriend, but he could probably say the same for her. "Rena Rouge seems pretty cool, Alya." Alya glanced up at him in surprise, as if she'd just received an unexpected compliment, and nodded in agreement. Rena Rouge lifted her hand to clasp the miraculous neckless, closing her eyes with a smile. Alya sighed, switching off the news broadcast._

_Carapace watched as Alya mirrored Rena Rouge's actions perfectly, seeming not to notice what she was doing. His miraculous beeped a warning, causing him to look at his wrist in surprise. "Will you be okay? I have to go." Carapace asked hesitantly. Alya snapped out of her trance, dropping her hand. Alya's eyes lit up playfully, and Carapace felt a sudden jerk of jealousy as she fell into a stance that she usually kept for just his civilian self. _

_She took a step towards him, smiling slyly, "You seem very concerned." Carapace swallowed as she drew closer to his ear, "You almost remind me of my boyfriend." The words rolled off her tongue with a knowing lilt, and she squeezed his hand gently in hers. When she stood back again, she grinned at him as he fumbled for words before settling for silence. "I think I should get a mask like yours," Alya added thoughtfully, a hand on her hip, "I think I'd look good."_

_His miraculous rang out with a sharp beep again, but Carapace was stuck to the ground, unable to move. When Alya looked at him like that, he didn't see Alya, he saw _her_. Rena Rouge. It was so clear to him at that moment, that he couldn't believe he hadn't noticed when she'd first appeared…_

_He tilted his head to the side, trying to school his features into something that's seemed like confusion. She snorted smugly, walking away with a wave, muttering something that sounded a lot like "My man's blind."_

Nino wasn't blind. He just knew the despite all the hints, Alya would regret not keeping her identity secret, even from him. Alya took secrets very seriously, and unless Ladybug had told him something different, _no one_ was supposed to know who they were. Even other heroes.

So Nino had played dumb, choosing to deal with the consequences later. And then he did the same for Adrien and Marinette. They didn't need to know that he knew, and Alya certainly didn't need to know that he'd followed her around during akuma attacks for weeks, just to make sure his assumptions were true.

When he'd said 'digging', he really meant stalking and trying to avoid Alya's wrath if she ever caught him- she could get rather scary when she was mad.

When Marinette had come back to the classroom earlier, she practically collapsed in her chair. Nino was helpless to do anything in the silence of the room, especially under the watchful eyes of his teacher and classmates. It always got like this when either Adrien or Marinette were upset; like the world was ending. In an effort to keep akumas away, Marinette was always looking at things positively, and Adrien was just happy to be in school at all, so when they were sad the atmosphere seemed… thick.

Heavy.

It was so wrong to see either of them hurting, that it dragged everyone else down too. So Nino wasn't just angry. What he felt was fiery- no, _icy_ rage. He hated that he didn't know what was happening, and he hated that he couldn't do anything about it. When the bell rang for the end of the lesson, Marinette didn't move. She sat there, staring at the desk like she couldn't see anything happening around her. Nino stood in front of her, brow creased in worry until Miss Bustier coughed, causing Marinette to jump out of her haze and start putting her things away in her bag. She didn't say a word to him, as she left the room, looking straight ahead.

Nino growled in frustration, Miss Bustier flinching a little. "You should go talk to Alya and Adrien," she suggested gently, a strained smile on her lips. Nino grunted in agreement, unable to find words until he rounded the corner and saw the two sitting on the floor.

Laughing. They were _laughing_.

Nino's heart beat too fast, eyes focused on his friends as he stormed towards them. "Hey, Nino, what-" Nino slammed his hand into the wall above his head, seeing Adrien wince at the loud noise. The contact had made his hand sting, rubbing against the rough brick, but Nino didn't care.

"What. The hell. Is happening?"

—

**I'd once again like to ask about Soulmates AUs! I'd like to write one, and I have a couple of ideas that will be scrupulously (such a good word, my gratitude goes to my amazing English teacher) planned out, but I was wondering if anyone would actually read one if I wrote it. So, if you're going to leave a review, feel free to add your thoughts!**

**Also go read Whoever You Think I Am, I Am Not, And Never Will Be which Speckleflower and I are currently writing! It posted on her account, and it's going really well so you should all go and check it out… link below. **

** s/13504944/1/Whoever-You-Think-I-Am-I-Am-Not-And-Never-Will-Be**


	10. Chapter 10

**This is technically early, guys! I'm kinda proud of myself… Anyway, I finished everything I had to do today by midday, so I had a lot of time to… well, procrastinate.**

**This was really hard to write for some reason, so apologies if it's not as polished and flow-y as usual… should be okay though.**

—

Adrien audibly gulped, scrambling up the wall. Alya sighed, shoulders slumping in- was that _relief?_ "Nino," Alya began, "Was Marinette okay in class?" Nino snorted with contempt, succumbing to a small, bitter chuckle. "Okay?" He asked in disbelief, "Did she seem okay?" Alya sunk under his harsh tone, and Nino's resolve flickered slightly.

He didn't want to hurt Alya.

Every single cell in his body protested that; Nino _couldn't_ hurt her. He closed his eyes, calming his racing heart. He'd just been so annoyed when he saw Marinette was upset, so annoyed that he was helpless to do anything but watch, that he'd forgotten she wasn't the only one who'd seemed off. Crouching beside her, Nino took Alya's hand in both of his, kissing the back of it. "I'm sorry, Al," Nino looked at their clasped hands, "I can't concentrate while Marinette's like this."

Alya didn't respond, and Nino looked up, just catching the flicker of jealousy that soured her expression. Never, not once since they'd been in a relationship, had Nino ever seen Alya question his loyalty to her. Why now? And because of Marinette? "Hey," Nino smiled softly, brows furrowed, entwining their fingers and cupping her cheek with his other hand, "You know I didn't mean it like that. Besides there's only one guy for Marinette." Nino glanced up at Adrien with a sly smile- which Adrien _returned_\- but Alya's features only darkened further, and he didn't have enough time to question Adrien's reaction. Frowning, she pulled her hand away, fidgeting with the seam of her jeans. Nino sat back on his heels, fingers dropping from her face, along with his eyes.

"Alya?" He asked quietly, "Why are you jealous?"

Nino had had a crush on Marinette once, but that was a long time ago. _Years_ ago. The day Ladybug had trapped them in the cage had become the best day if his life, sure, but not because he caught a glimpse of Ladybug, or because he'd been aiming to go on a date with Marinette, but because he'd met _Alya_. Obviously, they'd known each other before that, but it was different. To him, it felt as if he hadn't quite seen her until that moment- the moment he'd fallen in love.

It was such a simple confession, and yet, he found there was no word quite right to describe it- nothing but- well, love. Alya had become part of him, the part that swelled and burst with pride at the mere mention of her name. The part of him that had him gasping for breathe, and trying not to faint at her feet. He was smitten; hopelessly, undoubtably, unwaveringly lost in her. And Nino had never been happier.

But Alya didn't know that.

"Because you talk about her like you love her, Nino," Alya told him, suddenly standing up so she towered over him. He had to suppress a startled whimper, wishing he'd never lived to see the day that her anger was directed at him. "Because she's my best friend, and it would be a cliché, but these last weeks…" Nino flinched. How was he supposed to explain this to her without lying, or revealing Marinette's secret. Here he was again, ruining his relationship for Marinette's sake. Not that he blamed her- no, Nino should've tried harder to resist the urge to look closer. Scrunching his eyes closed, he ran a hand roughly over his face.

_Stupid, nosy Nino. If only you had stopped looking. _

"Alya, I wish I could tell you," Nino cringed internally, willing the strength to hide the pain in his voice, "But it's not for me to tell. If I tell you then I put both Marinette and you in danger. I can't-"

"Nino," Adrien interrupted gently, "How long have you known about her identity?"

Alya gaped, shooting daggers at him. Nino locked eyes with his best friend, confused but seeing the truth in Adrien's gaze. He _knew_. Nino took a deep breathe, and replied, "About a year- you and Marinette." Adrien's eyes widened. Knowing the size of Chat Noir's ego, Adrien had probably assumed Nino hadn't worked him out, and he couldn't help but smirk at his shock. He turned to Alya, leaving Adrien to contemplate his revelation. "And I've know about you, _Rena Rouge_," Alya's eyes lit up and the name, and Nino had to shake his head to prevent getting distracted, standing up to reach her level, "Since the day I became Carapace."

Chuckling, Adrien smirked at him, and Nino raised an eyebrow as his friend mouthed "Watch out." Nino cocked his head to the side, but quickly found out exactly what he meant when Alya slapped his forehead, and then his cheek, mercilessly. Howling in pain, he pouted at Adrien's hysterical laughter, turning to Alya with a scowl. "What the hell!" Alya didn't react, eyes burning with fury, and she raised her hand again.

He took a step away, hands in the air as he surrendered, more than a little terrified by her fiery glare. "You knew this whole time?" She snarled, unrelenting as she moved closer to him, "You knew, and you chose to lie instead of explaining it to me?" Adrien had stopped laughing, but Nino barely noticed, seeing tears well up in Alya's eyes.

"Alya, I doubt he wanted to-" Adrien started, but Nino held up a finger in his direction to silence him. "I don't know how I can trust you, Nino," Cold dread settled in his bones, making him feel small and heavy. Nino wasn't sure he wanted to know what came next.

"Not when you didn't trust me."

"Guys…" Nino's eyes burned, breath caught in his throat as he choked on his words. Because what do you say to that? How do you respond when the person you love says those words?_ I don't trust you._ What can you do to make them see? What could he do to show her that she was the only one? _Anything. I would do anything_. "Al…" he whispered, but Alya turned away, wiping her eyes on her sleeve, "I- this is-"

"Guys, _stop_!" Adrien insisted, pointing out the open window, "Akuma." The nasty bug made its way steadily across the sky, swooping towards them. Adrien tensed, taking a defensive stance in front of them, obviously prepared to transform if he had to. But before it reached them, it rose into the sky again. "Where is it going?" Alya asked, at his shoulder, scoffing slightly, "There can't be anyone more angsty than us three, right now." Sighing, Nino spun around to face her, realising they were basically nose-to-nose at this point.

Despite their argument, Alya's cheeks were dusted a light pink from their proximity, and Nino felt his face heat up involuntarily. "I didn't protect Marinette because I wanted her to like me, Alya," he mumbled, speaking at a volume only she would hear, "I did it because it because the more people that knew, the more likely Hawkmoth would know too. I _couldn't_ tell you, knowing that." Shaking her head, she wrapped one arm around his back, pulling him closer. Nino, surprised by the contact, let out a small squeal, making Alya giggle. She buried her face in his neck, "You're not forgiven." His shoulders shook in a noiseless chuckle, which he was trying very hard to hold back. He knew they would be talking about this later, but perhaps there was a chance he hadn't ruined their entire relationship. Alya pushed him back slightly with a frown, "You're not."

Nino drew her to him again, dismissing her last comment, "I'm not sure I care as long as I have a chance." Hope made his heart race with a sudden warmth, his grin an almost impossible size. Alya sniffed, nuzzling his neck.

"You two are adorable," Adrien winked, "Especially when you both forget that I'm Chat Noir, and cats have rather extraordinary hearing." Nino groaned, wishing he'd saved their conversation for later, but Alya just sniggered, glaring at him with mock disgust. "Whatever, Sunshine," Alya left his arms, but kept a hand in his, "At least I have the guts to actually tell Nino how I feel."

Adrien grunted in assent, looking away in embarrassment, and Nino smiled as Alya pumped her fist in the air triumphantly. It seemed as if her and Adrien managed to repair their relationship, and that regardless of what had happened, their friendship appeared stronger than ever.

"The akuma has probably got to its victim by now- we should go." Nino stated, "But I honestly don't know how Hawkmoth was able to find someone more upset than us." Nino felt his blood freeze, along with the rest of his body.

"Marinette."

And then he was gone, sprinting towards the bakery without a moment of hesitation.

_You were supposed to keep looking, be there for them when they needed you. You were the one who knew what he had to do, no one else had that responsibly. You._

_You were supposed to keep her safe- you promised._

—

**And when did Nino promise to keep her safe? Find out next time! Hehehe- cliffhangers ;)**

**Also, yesterday, my two baby brothers were born! They are super cute, and all is well… its a shame I can't visit them because of coronavirus, but I'll actually get to meet them soon.**

**Hope you enjoyed!**


	11. Chapter 11

**So… I'm three weeks late… oops… As an apology, this chapter is over 6000 words, so about three chapters long. Honestly, until yesterday, I had no motivation to write anything, and this just sat here with 500 words. Then I forced myself to sketch a little, and kinda got my creativity back after I got some good results.**

**Anyway, happy reading everyone!**

—

Breath coming out in harsh pants, Nino reached the bakery, not stopping as he rushed past Marinette's parents without a moment of greeting. He could hear shouts of protest coming from them, but drowned out their voices, knowing he had a matter of seconds to get to her before it was too late.

"Wayzz?" Nino panted, pushing his sleeves up his arms. He closed a hand around the bracelet he'd been hiding from his friends for months. "Is it time?" Wayzz asked quietly, voice close to Nino's ear. He nodded, taking a deep breath to steady his breathing as he climbed the ladder to Marinette's room. He was certain that Alya and Adrien had reached the bakery now, and was glad that Tom and Sabine hadn't chosen to pursue him.

Since Miracle Queen, Ladybug hadn't called Carapace into battle, probably due to the unknown whereabouts of his miraculous- unknown to her, at least. He wasn't entirely sure what Master Fu had left behind to convince her the turtle miraculous was safe, but clearly it had worked, and if she'd known he had it, he didn't doubt she would have called him to battle when an akuma got too much. How none of them had noticed the miraculous, he would never know, but he'd always wondered if it was because Master Fu had told Ladybug not to look for it.

All he knew for sure was that he'd be given exact instructions, in case Master Fu ever had to renounce Guardianship. Nino was to remain seemingly clueless to who Master Fu was, and only reveal that he knew about him if strictly necessary, and to keep the turtle miraculous close. Permanently. Even if he had to steal it from the new Guardian, likely Marinette- something he hated that he'd had to do.

As much as he trusted him, Nino rarely understood Master Fu, and it had been that way from the day they met.

_One month before Miracle Queen…_

"_Hello, Carapace."_

"_What?" Nino exclaimed, spinning around to see where the voice had come from. The man smiled calmly at him, raising an eyebrow at Nino's defensive stance. Feeling slightly silly, he dropped his arms, standing up straight with an awkward cough, "Carapace? What do you mean?"_

"_Please, Mr. Lahiffe," gesturing for Nino to sit down beside him, "You don't have to pretend with me. I know exactly who you and your friends are." _

"_W-what?" Nino spluttered, unable to get any air into his lungs, "My friends? What do you-" The man held up a hand for him to stop, and Nino caught sight of a very familiar bracelet hanging down his wrist. However small in stature the man was, Nino couldn't deny that his presence was strangely commanding, and he couldn't stop himself from obeying him. _

"_How do you have that?" He got out eventually, trusting that the man would know what he was referring to, "Who are you?" _

"_My name is Master Fu," the man told him, and Nino noticed Wayzz settle on his shoulder, "And I'm the Guardian of the Miracle Box." Gaping, Nino found himself speechless once again. The Guardian of the… Miracle Box? That sounded oddly official, and Nino almost felt as he should know what it is. Why did he feel like that he knew? And what did it have to do with the miraculouses? Wait- "'Miracle', as in miraculous?" He asked, eyes widening in disbelief, "You're the one who decided it was such a great idea to choose a Ladybug and Chat Noir so close to each other?" Master Fu nodded, and Wayzz chuckled quietly, the two sharing an amused look in some sort of private joke. _

"_They are meant for each other, no?" Master Fu held his gaze, and Nino almost wanted to flinch at the intensity. "Yes. It kills me not to be able to tell them that they actually love each other, but just don't know it," Nino's brows furrowed in confusion, "But, dude- Master, what are you doing here?" As far as he knew, Ladybug had never said anything about the mysterious man who she got the temporary miraculouses from ever doing home visits. And why had he come to him? Was Marinette or Adrien in trouble? Was that why Master Fu had come to him? Nino felt himself start to spiral, panic making it extremely hard to breathe. _

_A tight hand clasped around his shoulder, and he instantly relaxed as the hand moved to rub tiny circles into his back. "Everyone is safe, Carapace." Master Fu assured him, "I can sense your desire to keep them safe, and that is exactly why I'm here." Sharp, concentrated eyes fixed on him again, and Nino met them evenly this time, no longer feeling the urge to look away. How he had gone from so suspicious to that comfortable in seconds was incomprehensible- since finding out about Marinette and Adrien, he'd found it hard to trust strangers, especially around his friends, and it had been a while since he'd been so relaxed. _

"_You had a moment of fear there- fear for your friends." Master Fu continued, hand dropping from Nino's shoulder, "It's good that you feel like that, but you mustn't let that fear keep you from acting." Nino opened his mouth to protest; he would do whatever it took to save anyone, even Hawkmoth, and of course he wasn't going to let fear get in the way of that! Once again, Nino found himself silent, blinking in surprise at his own compliance. "I don't mean to suggest that you wouldn't save them- Mr Lahiffe, I know you would do anything- have done everything- for your friends," Master Fu bowed his head slightly, and Nino saw his strength waver, "She may not have known when she chose you, but Marinette has given you the most important miraculous of all."_

"_How is that possible?" Nino scoffed, looking down at his hand, "All I can do is try and keep the others from getting hurt- I- I can't- what if one day it won't be enough?" His hands seized close, tight in his lap, and he shook his head to try and clear the images that filled his head. "That's not the real question, Carapace," Nino looked up, but struggled for words, "The real question is will you choose to wallow in your fear-" Master Fu took one of his hands in his own, uncurling his clenched fingers. When the man didn't continue, Nino looked away from their hands to look him in the eye, noticing the man smiling slightly, "Or will you choose to be better, to let me help you be the holder you want to be?" _

_Master Fu closed his hand again, but this time, something pressed into his palm. "What do you choose, Carapace?" The man asked quietly, eyes shining with something unknown to Nino, "Continue as you have done-" Nino hesitantly opened his hand, eyes shooting open when he saw what sat there, "And carry on letting fear guide you," _

_Nino ran a finger over the bracelet, eyes shut in concentration. He didn't think he let fear control him, but maybe he did… Maybe that was why he could never do what was need of him- why he was never good enough. _

_Ladybug had given him the turtle miraculous. Had it just been because she thought he was trustworthy? Surely it wasn't because she thought he had any talent in fighting- Nino was the first to admit he was the most inexperienced. Even Alya had taken self-defence classes… "Nino, the turtle miraculous is much like the black cat." Master Fu told him, "But there is a reason that I chose to wear it as Guardian." _

"_What do you mean?" Nino asked uncertainly._

"_Chat Noir will always protect his Ladybug, no matter what happens to him, and I am so proud of him for that." Master Fu explained, "But the destiny of the turtle holder is to protect everyone. It's a responsibility almost as large of that of Ladybug, and one that only few can endure. I chose it because that's what I needed- I needed to be sure I could protect the Miracle Box." _

"_And remember, Nino Lahiffe, that I've be watching you since the day you became Carapace. I noticed when you found out their identities, because I saw what you did to help them, even when you weren't in battle." Master Fu added, "I may of stood back and watched you then, but now I think it's time I step in. I understand if you don't want my help- you're young, you shouldn't have to do this, but it is your choice."_

"_Show me how to protect them." Nino jumped, blinking at the sound of his own voice. Where had that come from? When had he decided to say that? All Nino knew was that it was what he wanted; that he couldn't deny himself of this chance to make himself better. Taking a deep breath, he added, "Please teach me, Master." Master Fu smiled, warm and comforting, and Wayzz let out a slightly relieved chuckle. "I'm glad you were chosen as my holder," the kwami admitted, "I thought we were going to lose you for a moment there."_

"_Me too, little dude," he confessed, "But if I don't do this, I…" He trailed off, struggling to think of how to explain. He needed this. He needed to be stronger- not just for them, but for himself. Although he'd never admit it out loud, Nino had always felt that he was kind of the weakest of the team. He didn't have Rena's perseverance, or Queen Bee's fire; he was just Nino Lahiffe- just an average guy who could attempt to protect those he loved. Nino didn't want to just be average. _

_He wanted to _always_ be enough._

_Enough to feel he wasn't letting everyone down, that he was someone he could be proud of. Enough to deserve to be loved by Alya, and by the rest of his friends- enough to prove his worth to them. It was no secret to him that Alya, Adrien and Marinette had been keeping things from him- there superhero identities, obviously- and he hated that he didn't always get to play a part in their lives. He hated that-_

_Master Fu cleared his throat, interrupting the storm growing within him, "Carapace, I think it's time we begin."_

So Nino had trained every night for the month they'd had before Master Fu lost his memory. It was almost as if Master Fu had know they didn't have much time left to teach him, and Nino was grateful for what he'd learnt. It was probably all that was going to save him now.

Without even looking to see the situation, Nino called for his transformation.

"Wayzz, shell on."

—

Alya pushed past Tom, shouting an apology but unable to remain still any longer. Adrien had already gone, leaving her behind to try and explain what was happening, somehow managing to not admit why Marinette _couldn't_ be akumatised. Hoping they'd listen to her request not to be followed, she practically flew through the house, caring little for what she knocked over. She'd done enough damage control for one day.

This whole thing, without a doubt, was her fault. She set in motion all of it; the reveal, Adrien's tears, her guilt, Nino's confessions, the akuma even. All her. If only Marinette hadn't gone to her… if only she'd never trusted her with her identity. Clearly it wasn't a good decision, since Alya had successfully ruined everything Marinette had worked to protect.

If only…

The trapdoor was flung open when she reached it, but she slammed it shut behind her, not knowing exactly what was going on inside the room.

Spinning around, she couldn't help but freeze where she stood. There was Nino, crossed-legged on the floor, transformed- how was he transformed? The Miracle Box was probably somewhere in the room, but surely he hadn't been able to get it that quickly. His eyes were closed, and he was barely moving except for the slight rise and fall of his shoulders with each breath. One hand held Marinette's, her friend- or possibly ex-friend- curled up beside him, knees hugged tight to her chest.

But that wasn't what had made Alya stop.

Trapped in Carapace's Shelter was the akuma, the butterfly still straining towards Marinette. Unlike his usual Shelters, this one was being projected a couple of inches away from him, hovering above the ground in line with Carapace's eyes. Adrien stood beside her, jaw slack at the sight, a mixture of fear and awe twisting his features. "Adrien." Carapace called quietly. Adrien shook his head, seeming confused how he even knew Adrien was standing there. "Adrien, take Marinette onto the balcony." Nino told him, no room in his tone for questioning.

"Nino, I-" Adrien protested.

"Go!" Carapace snapped back, a shudder running through him, "The closer she is, the harder the akuma tries to reach her." Alya flinched as Nino trembled again, instinctively taking a step towards him.

"Adrien, do it," Alya said softly. Glancing back at him, she saw him look at Marinette uncertainly. Alya understood- neither of them were on the best terms with Marinette… They didn't deserve to be, both of them having caused this. She wasn't willing to fall back into the 'if only's again, despite wishing nothing more than being able to selfishly wallow in her guilt. Nino grimaced, a bead of sweet rolling down his cheek. She turned to Adrien, taking both his hands in hers, forcing him to look her in the eyes. Nino's previous silence was broken by a pained groan, and Alya didn't dare look at him. "Please, it's hurting him," Alya whispered, "Someone has to get Marinette away from here, and I can't leave him."

"I'm so sorry," Marinette choked out, "I tried to hold it in, but I couldn't-" Her shoulders heaved in a huge sob, and Nino lurched forward, a hand clutching his chest as a sharp exhale of breath escaped him. Alya winced, pushing Adrien in front of her and towards Marinette and Nino. If he wasn't going to help her, then Alya would just have to make it impossible not to.

"Marinette, where are the miraculouses?" Alya asked, pulling her friend to her feet, and trying her hardest to ignore Nino for the moment. "Yours is on my desk," Marinette answered, clearly confused, "Why do you need a miraculous?" Alya grabbed for the miraculous, putting it around her neck. Trixx appeared in a bright flash, spotting the akuma instantly, and looking up at Alya for answers. Alya shook her head, turning away from her friends to speak to the kwami.

"Can I control an illusion and remain down here without being able to see it?" Alya asked quickly, glancing behind her, "I need to be in two places at once." Trixx furrowed his brows, and on another day, Alya probably would've commented on how cute it looked. "Yes," He told her, tilting his head to the side, "But you won't be able to appear in your civilian identity in both places- for now, you'll be better off with only one good illusion, then two bad ones."

"That's okay," Alya nodded, "Thank you."

Trixx smirked at her, a mischievous glint in his eyes, "I think I understand what you're trying to do, Rena." Alya nodded, appreciating the kwami's reassurance, and he continued, "Remember to concentrate. I wish you luck."

"Adrien, do what I say. Take Marinette up to the balcony, keep her out of view." Alya dragged Marinette's chair across the room, positioning it above the trapdoor, and put a stack of books on top of it, jamming it against the wall. Suddenly very grateful for Marinette hoarding tendencies, she found a couple more old textbooks to make it heavier. No one would be getting though that trapdoor- not even Tom. "Go!" Alya commanded, noticing that no one had moved, "Or I will transform and put you there."

"Al…" Nino gasped, "Calm down, or- or go with them." Alya took a deep breath, closing her eyes until the tension left her shoulders. Blocking out everything else, Alya focussed on the slight fluttering from the akuma's wings. _Nasty bug._ Why couldn't Hawkmoth just give up? How stubborn did you have to be to lose that many times, and still carry on? It almost made her angry, but Alya didn't want to set the akuma off again- didn't want anything to make it harder for Nino.

She wouldn't cause him anymore pain as long as she lived.

"Are they gone?" Alya asked, not daring to open her eyes in fear of letting her emotions control her again. Blindly, she sat down beside Nino, using her enhanced hearing to try to sense where she was. "Yes." Nino told her, voice next to her ear, "And the akuma isn't going for you anymore."

"Trixx, let's pounce." Alya said, opening her eyes once the light from her transformation had faded, "Mirage." Rena Rouge concentrated on the spot in front of her, willing her illusion to come to life- a replica of her civilian self. "What are you doing, Al?" Carapace asked, staring straight at the akuma, "Why do you need Mirage?"

Rena Rouge didn't answer, the Mirage-Alya heading toward Marinette's loft-bed and the balcony. It stopped before the ladder, and turned towards them. "What do you think?" It queried with a small smile, "You think Marinette and Adrien will fall for it?" It was strange making Mirage-Alya speak for her, something she'd always struggled with; inanimate objects were easy- simply a visualisation of what she wanted them to look like- but putting a personality behind an illusion was much harder, especially when Rena Rouge couldn't devote her whole attention to controlling it. "I don't trust Adrien to be… useful right now, so I want to keep an eye on them." Mirage-Alya added, a sheen of sweat collecting on Rena Rouge's brow.

This was going to be harder than she thought.

Still, Trixx believed Rena Rouge could do it, and that was good enough fro her. "Why can't you go up yourself?" Carapace said, a little strength seeming to have returned to him now that Marinette was further away. "You've been alone in this for far to long, Nino," Alya told him, taking his hand, "You think I plan on leaving you again?" The remark was meant to come out with a little snark, maybe a touch jokingly, but her tone was low and serious, and did nothing to ease the apprehensive atmosphere within the room.

Nino merely nodded, giving her hand a squeeze, "I think the Mirage could fool anyone, but you don't have long left. Do what you have to before your time runs out."

"And when yours runs out?" Rena Rouge shot back, Mirage-Alya heading up to the balcony. While the illusion was still visible, she didn't have to focus on seeing through its eyes, and could simply direct it from where she was sat. That was about to change. Once its feet disappeared through the trapdoor, she pulled her vision away from her own consciousness, feeling air rush into her lungs one last time before she was pulled into Mirage-Alya's head.

Having only done this once before, Alya had almost forgotten how much she hated the weightlessness this particular power brought her. It made her stomach churn uncomfortably, which was probably the reason why she'd been sick the last time, and her head pounded slightly. When Mirage-Alya was a foot behind Adrien and Marinette, who stood against the far balcony railing, she pushed herself back into her body, using Carapace's hand as an anchor.

Coming back was like emerging from deep water, a shiver running through her body. "Are you back with me, Al?" Carapace called, his voice punctuated by a sharp beep. Rena Rouge nodded, unsure whose miraculous had been beeping, "I'm never getting used to that." She stated shakily, Carapace chuckling slightly. "Yeah, it's still creepy." A wave of nausea washed over Rena Rouge, a hand raised involuntarily to her lips.

"Your eyes roll back into your head and-"

"I love you, Nino, but_ shut up_." Rena Rouge sucked in a breath, "I don't need a description of a process that already makes me want to throw up." Carapace swallowed loudly, placing a soothing hand on her back. She leaned into the touch, preparing herself for another trip into Mirage-Alya.

"If I run out of time, the akuma will be released." Carapace told her, answering her question from before, "We need Marientte to get it together enough to transform before then, or we're going to have a problem."

"Could Adrien Cataclysm it?" Rena Rouge suggested, trying to shrug off the dread that Carapace's reply had given her. "Its possible." Something dark and unreadable crossed his expression, but it wad gone after a moment- so quickly that Rena Rouge wasn't sure she'd seen it at all- and he added, "But its a risk. He's never done it before, and there's always a chance that the akuma will just be absorbed into him as with a usual victim."

"I truly believe that, normally, both of them would be able to fight an akuma, but today…" Rena Rouge trailed off, knowing Carapace was well aware of what she was referring to.

Frustrated, she reentered Mirage-Alya's body, finding it a lot easier to breach the gap between her own body and the illusion's for a second time.

"I failed," Marinette said, very obviously avoiding even looking at Adrien, "Master Fu was wrong to trust me with Guardianship." Adrien shuffled awkwardly, and didn't notice Mirage-Alya's presence behind them. Thinking that was for the best, she made it duck into a shadier area of the balcony, ready to step in if necessary. "But Marinette, this isn't exactly your fault." Adrien insisted, "I knew you were exhausted that day- I shouldn't have let you leave without making sure you were safe."

Marinette laughed bitterly, and Mirage-Alya flinched at her tone, "But then you would have found out anyway. Either way, I'm still a disappointment."

"You could never be a disappointment to me, Marinette." Adrien told her, turning her to face him, and Mirage-Alya smiled when she didn't resist, "You're my friend, and my hero, and My Lady, and my Princess- you drew me in in every form we have, Marinette." Marinette scoffed, shaking Adrien's hand from her shoulder dismissively, "But you only ever loved Ladybug- the perfect version of me."

Adrien shook his head in disbelief, and Mirage-Alya cringed at what was coming next. Rena Rouge had almost forgotten that she'd told Adrien about Marinette's crush on him that night, keeping her guilt at bay by ignoring any memory of what she had said that night, even though she could recall it word for word. "You're one to talk- you never liked Chat Noir, but you do like Adrien Agreste, don't you?" Adrien spat back, Marinette spinning around in alarm, "At least Ladybug is a part of you- Adrien is nothing. Adrien Agreste is an image created by my father, not who I am. It's the image that you love, not me."

The two stared at each other, Marinette saying nothing in response, neither of them daring to look away first. Rena Rouge had never seen them, as Ladybug and Chat Noir nor as Marinette and Adrien- or as any other combination of the two- so intense and frozen. "I stopped idolising you the moment Kagami became your girlfriend, Adrien." Marinette said, Mirage-Alya feeling a brief sweep of pride for her girl's lack of stuttering, "After that, I realised that I loved you for more than just your perfection."

Adrien glanced a his feet, blushing despite the situation, and Mirage-Alya resisted the urge to find her way back to her body and get a picture. His submission broke the trance, and the balcony fell into an uncomfortable silence, even Mirage-Alya struggling not to fidget. For a minute there, she was sure Marinette was feeling at least a little bit better, but tears began to fall down her cheeks seconds after Adrien looked away, making Mirage-Alya sigh in frustration.

They weren't out of the woods yet.

"How did Nino know?" Marinette asked, "Did you guys tell him?" Adrien shook his head, and Mirage-Alya stepped forward into the light, catching both of her friends' attention. Rena Rouge had had enough of skulking in the shadows, watching everything fall apart. "No, he worked it out by himself, but only after he knew about both Adrien and I."

"How?" Marinette breathed, voice barely above a whisper, "I was so careful. Always so careful." Mirage-Alya walked towards her, remaining out of reach so that neither of them were temped to touch it and ruin the illusion. "Marinette, you've been such a good superhero!" Mirage-Alya exclaimed, "You've had more stress than any of us, and you've handled it all so well. And give Nino some credit- I'm pretty sure he's smarter than all of us."

Adrien chuckled, and Mirage-Alya suppressed a sigh of relief, happy that at least one of them was somewhat functioning. But whatever darkness that had a hold on Marinette wasn't going to let her go with just a couple of reassuring words and a joke; it went deeper than just this one- however life-changing- event. "I've fallen short from the start," Marinette rubbed a hand over her eyes, "I can't even get myself together enough to fight against an akuma!"

"_Alya!"_

Carapace's voice cut through Mirage-Alya's connection for a second, just long enough for her to register a flash of light as he detransformed.

—

Carapace willed Wayzz to hold on just a moment longer. _He had to. _Rena Rouge was still controlling her Mirage, and he wasn't sure exactly how aware she was of what was happening with her body. She had less than a couple minutes left, each of the three beeps that had already come sounding harsh and jolting. He had much longer than her, having spent a lot of time, both with Master Fu and by himself, practicing holding his transformation, but it was still only about five minutes extra.

Carapace had been holding his transformation after using shelter for nine minutes and 36 seconds.

He had about 30 seconds left, and the akuma was still going for Marinette, despite her having distanced herself. If she didn't calm down, he wasn't going to have to do something drastic. Like… like jump on the akuma and hope he could fight it!

Or something equally as dumb.

_10 seconds._

But what else was he supposed to do? It wasn't like he could do anything else. Carapace just hoped that Rena was having a more successful time with Marinette and Adrien.

He couldn't help but feel that- once again- he'd failed them. Especially Marinette. He'd made a promise to both her and himself to protect them. In the end, it seemed that, even with all of master Fu's training, he wasn't going to be enough.

_5… 4… _

He'd just have to hold on longer. Carapace had no idea exactly how he wasn't going to do that, but he wasn't going to just give in. _Come on, Wayzz. You can do it. Take my power if you need it. I can't break my vow- I won't break it. _He squeezed his eyes shut, certain his pleas had gone unheard.

_2… 1…_

But nothing happened. There was no transformation light, no rush of the magic leaving him. Nothing. He laughed in relief, rubbing a hand over his eyes, trying to ignore the tears he found there. Had he really been so desperate that his wish had come true? That was hard to believe. He was pretty sure that the kwamis were never actually able to read their holder's thoughts, even while transformed, and he was fairly certain they weren't even that aware of what was happening to their holders.

Now he had no idea how long he had left. How much time had he been granted? A few minutes? _A few seconds? _The thought alarmed him, so he tried to shove it deep down inside himself. However long, he'd be thanking whoever gave him this time for the rest of his life, and he focussed on that, as well as keeping his Shelter strong and stable. That was becoming harder every moment, having held it for far longer than he ever had before, especially in this form.

Three minutes in, the headache had started, made worse by Marinette's proximity, although he didn't dare let go of her hand until Alya and Adrien were there. He'd promised her that much; that he'd keep her safe whenever he could, and make sure she was never alone- no, he wasn't planning on letting go.

When she'd left, the sharp pain in his temples had faded to an unpleasant throb, spreading out across his forehead. He wasn't going to admit it out loud, but he was a little glad when Alya finally made Adrien and Marinette go upstairs. Carapace felt _awful _for saying it, but the pain had been making him more and more lightheaded, seeming to travel down his neck until it clawed at his chest.

Alya had noticed, because she almost always did. It was one of the reasons he hated destroying their relationship- he was so sure they were meant to be together- _fated_, as Master Fu probably would have put it. In the same way Ladybug and Chat Noir were fated to be together, Carapace knew that he and Alya were the same. It was hard to take comfort from that thought though, especially when he purposely sabotaged himself from Adrien or Marinette's sake. Of course, he wasn't the only superhero who sacrificed their relationships for their identity, but he was probably the only one doing it for himself _and_ three others.

He'd taken that responsibility willing, and he didn't regret the choice he'd made. When Master Fu approached him, he'd _chosen _to learn from him. Nothing but Adrien's identity had been forced on him, and Carapace much preferred that to the alternative; constantly being left in the dark.

And it had been his choice to promise what he had to Marinette, whether she took it seriously or not.

_Two months after Miracle Queen…_

_Nino was going to have to cover for Marinette again. She'd disappeared during the akuma attack, and hadn't been able to make her way back to where she'd been before she transformed. It was actually Adrien- well, Chat Noir- he'd be lying to this time._

"_Nino, right?" Chat Noir asked, "You know Marinette?" Nino let his eyes widen in shock, pretending to be honoured that a superhero like Chat Noir was even talking to him. "Yeah, dude, I know her," he answered, mustering an ounce of awe into his tone, "Is something wrong?" _

_Chat Noir grinned reassuringly, shaking his head, but as he turned away Nino heard his muttered, "Where are you, Princess?" _

_Coughing awkwardly- half acting, and half nervous he was about to do something stupid- Nino tapped his shoulder, the superhero turning back. "I think her parents like her to make her way home during an akuma attack. She's probably there." _

_Even though he was nodding, Chat Noir still looked uncertain, Nino having never seen him fidget so much. Not even when Ladybug had been in danger. Internally, Nino was laughing his head off; his friend was smitten, and he had no idea! He wished he could tease him about it, but Chat Noir looked far too worried for jokes, so he saved it for a better time._

"_Look, dude, I can call her if you want," Nino added, waving his phone in the air. Chat Noir sighed, a grateful, and very relieved, smile pulling on the corners of his lips. Nino swiped onto Marinette's contact, hoping she was detransformed and that he'd guessed her location correctly. The phone rang once, then twice, until she answered._

"_Nino? Hi!" Chat Noir reached for the phone, but Nino just put it on speaker, holding it between them. "Hey, Marinette. You're at home, right?" He asked, shooting a look at Chat Noir as he impatiently played with his tail. "Y-yes… why?" _

"_A little kitten was asking after you- he seems very worried," Nino answered, Chat Noir inhaling sharply. Nino sniggered as there was a crash on the other side of the call. "Chat?" Marinette breathed, "He was asking about me?"_

"_Hey, Mari…" Chat Noir trailed off, cringing at the stream of cursing from Marinette as she fell again, "I didn't mean to bother you, I just couldn't find you and I needed to know you were safe, and are you okay? I mean, I don't know why I thought-"_

"_Oh Minou, I'm fine," Nino could hear her smiling, and watched Chat Noir's eyes light up at her voice, "You're incredibly sweet, I just-"_

"_Made your way home when the akuma attacked?" Nino suggested, hoping she'd take the excuse as an easy way out, "I know that's what Adrien's dad tells him to do." Chat Noir shuffled uncomfortably upon hearing his civilian name, and Nino bit back a laugh. "Yeah, that right. Well guessed, Nino." Marinette answered after a moment, and Chat Noir nodded in acceptance. _

"_I'm glad you're alright, Princess," Chat Noir told her, "I don't like it when you just disappear."_

"_Can I expect you tonight?" Marinette asked hesitantly, obviously unaware that Nino was listening. Chat Noir seemed to have forgotten he was there too, not even acknowledging that he'd just uncovered a friendship between one of his classmates and a superhero. "Of course, Princess. Can we have cookies?" Chat Noir asked hopefully, his smile widening, "Purritty please?"_

_Marinette groaned at the pun, "Not if you're going to pun at me all night, Minou."_

"_I have to go now, Mari," Chat Noir smiled softly, and Nino couldn't help but raise an eyebrow at his cluelessness. Did you really not know how in love he was? "Okay, Chat, see you later!"_

_Marinette exclaimed and Nino took the call off speaker as Chat Noir bounded away, "Wait, Nino, don't hang up."_

"_Okay," Nino responded, clearing his throat, "What's up, dudette?"_

"_You noticed I was gone. You lied for me." She stated, "You should've been as confused as he was about where I went." Nino couldn't tell how she thought about her declaration without being able to see her, but she'd sounded more curious than upset. "I have no idea where to or why you disappeared, but I know you wouldn't just do that without good reason." Nino told her, hoping she could hear the truth of his words, "Whatever it is, I respect that you want to keep it a secret, and thats okay. I'll always protect my friends, even if I'm not entirely sure why." _

"_I can't ask you to do that, Nino," Marinette said quietly, "It's my secret to keep. I won't make you lie for me." Chuckling, Nino wished he was with her in person so she could be sure he was being serious. It wasn't like him to act so earnest, at least not with his friends. He looked down at his miraculous, turning to smile at Wayzz, who'd poked his head out of his backpack. _

"_You don't understand, Marinette." Nino opened his palm for Wayzz to sit on, "You haven't asked anything of me- its my decision. I promised you that I'm always going to be there to protect you whenever I can, and I'll never leave you alone when you need me, Marinette. If protecting you means protecting this secret, then that's what I'll do. With Chat Noir, that meant lying for you, but it also means that if you ever want to tell me that secret… I'll be here."_

_There was an uneasy silence, and Nino felt growing regret for what he had said. Not that he didn't mean it; he'd never meant anything more. It was just more… Carapace than Nino Lahiffe, although it wasn't like Marinette didn't know about his superhero identity, and it was a bit out the blue. Had he managed to accidentally infer that he knew her identity? She didn't know, right? Just when he thought he couldn't take it any longer, Marinette spoke, "Thank you, Nino. That- that means a lot to me."_

_Satisfied that Marinette understood him, and he hadn't revealed that he knew her identity, he said his goodbyes and hung up the call._

Maybe holding an akuma captive wasn't exactly what he meant when he made the promise, but he wasn't going to let it hurt her. Not her, or anyone else Marinette's akumatisation would put in danger. He was-

His miraculous beeped suddenly, a green flash making him shield his eyes.

"Alya!" He shouted, the light from his transformation dimming.

_Please, hear me._


	12. Chapter 12

**So, I could have posted this on Sunday- it was finished, edited, the whole lot, but I couldn't quite bring myself to post something so… I don't know, bad? It was 823 words and just generally ugh. I wasn't happy with it in the slightest, but I didn't know how to fix it. **

**I left it a couple of days, came back a couple hours ago, and BOOM. Easy. I knew exactly how to make it much less completely, horribly-paced, repetitive trash, and more of a good chapter.**

**Enjoy :3**

—

The akuma was coming.

Nino had detransformed and that meant it was free, flapping around down there. Rena Rouge almost laughed at how hopeless the whole situation was. _Almost. _There was only so much her and Nino could do about it- they weren't even permanent miraculous holders! Sure, Rena Rouge had at least a little confidence in Adrien doing something- _anything _useful, at this point- but Marinette was far to busy feeling inadequate to catch the damn butterfly.

Rena Rouge didn't know how she hadn't seen this already. It's not like this sort of thing happened overnight. You didn't just flick a switch and suddenly not believe in yourself. Then again, it seemed as if Marinette was far better at keeping secrets than Rena Rouge had thought, having hidden her identity from everyone for this long.

Of course, Marinette had no idea that the akuma had been released down there. Should she tell her? Hope that it acted as some sort of catalyst to get her to transform and purify it? Or just pretend that nothing had happened, and try and get her to calm down so the akuma gave up anyway?

"Alya, are you okay?" Marinette asked, reaching out for her. Clearly she'd been stuck in her thoughts longer than she'd realised… Mirage-Alya's eyes widened as Marinette drew closer, and she reacted too slowly to move away from her. Her friend's hand passed through Mirage-Alya's body, the image shifting and distorting until Rena Rouge could feel her hold on it slipping away.

That was not how she'd intended to end their conversation.

"Shoot." Mirage-Alya got out as she faded, Rena Rouge's consciousness being crushed back into her body. If she'd found it nauseating before, going back to her own body against her will was like having her organs shoved up her throat. She highly doubted that a bone in Nino's hand wasn't broken, as she clutched it desperately, trying to blink away her daze. "Al, we have to go," Nino told her, the urgency in his tone settling her stomach somewhat. Alya glanced over at him, "The akuma is gonna get out. We have to get them out of here."

"I know," Rena Rouge said weakly, resisting the urge to gag, "Help me up." Nino pulled them both up, the blood rushing to her head making her sway slightly. Steadying her, Nino led them up to the trapdoor, letting go of her to climb the ladder, the akuma slightly ahead of them. After fluttering against the ceiling, it landed for a second and Rena Rouge jumped around Nino, pushing herself through the trapdoor in front of the akuma.

"Marinette, the akuma!" Rena Rouge shouted breathlessly, putting herself between the akuma and her friends, "Nino couldn't hold his transformation any longer." She couldn't help but flinch at the choked sob from behind her, closing her eyes to avoid the tears forming there, as Nino climbed onto the balcony behind the akuma. She had no clue what had happened in the brief time she wasn't with them, but Marinette had obviously reverted back to tears again. It was heading straight for her, and Rena Rouge had no idea what she was planning to do. It wasn't like she could touch it, or risk being akumatised herself. Though that would probably be better than it being Ladybug…

No, Rena Rouge couldn't afford that right now, not while she had the chance to think of something else.

Hawkmoth was probably curious about what exactly was happening to the akuma. And he was probably enjoying all the negativity shared between the four of them in the last couple of days, just waiting fo one of them to truly snap. To be honest, she wouldn't be surprised if he could guess who they were, just from the sheer volume of pent-up feelings. She just hoped they wouldn't be getting a visit from him so he could investigate.

And then, just to make everything far more difficult, she heard a sound she wished she'd never hear again. Her miraculous chiming, signalling her time was up. Light washed over her, the lingering nausea doubling as the suit fell away from her body. This time, she really did laugh.

Of all the times to detransform, it had to be then. Luckily enough, the akuma seemed almost drunk, switching direction every second. One moment, it would dip down, the next back towards the trapdoor, but it was still making fairly stable progress towards her. Trixx whispered an apology, settling in her pocket, too exhausted to do anything else. Alya had no food for him, no way to transform back into Rena Rouge.

She was defenceless, no magic left to rely on.

After instinctively dodging out of the way of the akuma, the butterfly swung closer to her threateningly, but didn't bother to pursue her. Marinette took a step away from it, the rest of them standing there uselessly; because, honestly, what was there left to do? "Marinette, you have to transform!" Nino exclaimed, rushing forwards as Marinette attempted to move further away from the butterfly, back pressed against the balcony railing.

Alya closed her eyes, knowing Marinette was far too lost in fear to save herself, and that Adrien was probably just as frozen. Heroes of Paris or not, Alya and Nino had no more power to stop an akuma evilising their friends than any random civilian- at least not anymore.

They were done. It was over.

Unless…

"Adrien," Alya said firmly, her friend's eyes, full of pain, fixing on her. Marinette ducked out the way of the akuma, trying to escape but falling to her knees. Still, a spark lit up within her, burning away any uncertainty and replacing is with pure, unfiltered hope. Maybe, just _maybe, _there was one last thing she could do. "Adrien, wake up, and save your Lady or I'll never forgive you," Alya stated as Marinette stood up shakily, now trapped in a corner by the akuma.

"I'm sorry," Marinette said quietly, and Alya looked away from any reaction from Adrien. Marinette was staring at the butterfly, and pushing herself up and on top of the the railing, "But I'd rather die than make you fight me."

The words didn't quite reach her brain before it was far, far too late.

"Marientte, no!" Nino said lunging for her. Marinette was too quick, Alya feeling as if they were in slow motion as she launched herself backwards. Alya barely had time to register that her best friend had effectively just killed herself before Adrien was diving after her, calling his transformation as he fell.

—

_Did Adrien just jump off a building? After Marientte? _Nino had no idea how exactly he'd got where they were, but he was on the floor, hanging onto the railing with the cold metal pressing into his palms. His face dug into the bars, searching the ground for any sign of their friends. There was nothing. His eyes were to blurred to see anyway. He didn't remember trying to get to Marinette and Adrien, but Alya was holding him tight enough to imagine he'd been straining against her, forcing her to hold him back.

The calm he'd felt earlier that day had drained out of him, Master's Fu's teachings abandoned with the remains of his restraint. Probably as dead as- _as dead as… _Choking back a sob, Nino collapsed against Alya, who sighed in his ear despite the fact she was trembling. He took a heaving breath, burying his face in Alya's shoulder.

"They're gone," she whispered, "They're gone and we can't fix it." Nino couldn't muster a single sound of acknowledgment. What Alya had just said- it meant that he had failed them. He wasn't even upset, just ashamed and- and utterly, terrifyingly _empty. _After all this time, after all the sacrifice and heartbreak and secrets, it was over, and they were gone.

Soft footsteps behind them roused Nino from his guilt, lifting his head to see what had interrupted them. He really hoped it wasn't Marientte's parents- how the hell was he meant to explain what happened? _Yeah, sorry guys, but your daughter just jumped off her balcony and-_

"Chat Noir?"


End file.
